Haleiwa Beach Scaredy-Cat Mainland Girl

"Grandpa,
I feel kinda
shame cuz
I'm only a
mainland
girl and I
come over
here in the
islands and
everybody
is laughing
at me cuz
I'm small
kine sked
of water..
and what?
Are you
ashamed
of me?"
"Um......
yup....you
shouldn't
be scared
of water...
what is up
with that?
When your
mom was 2
years old...
she was in
the deep end
of the pool
diving for
keys or any
kine stuff I
used to toss
in the water.
And your
Grandpa...
I used to go
with Buttons
...Gerry dem,
and Eddie never used to go until I went with him...so it's
kinda embarrassing that you're running away from the
water..........they all going vote you off the island now."
"So anyway..... you old apish has-been, what Uncles RJ,
Morgan and Manoa did was dig a hole, and I was having
fun digging the hole with them. But they knew that after
awhile the water was going to come up and fill the hole...
and after awhile I got used to the water...so I guess now,
I like the beach...and I can't wait to play in the water....
but still....it was sneaky how they tricked me, yeah?"

Green....Greener.....Greenest

"Grandpa,
I like how
there's so
many trees
and flowers
over here
in Hawaii...
get planny
ti plants,
and lawae
and choke
plumerias."
"Yup yup
my little
climber of
trees. That
is why the
islands is
so green."
"Grandpa,
what do
you do to
keep the
aina green?"
"Well, for
one thing,
I don't use
one-time
use water
bottles... I
refill mine
all the time.
And I also
like to ride
my bike to
work a lot.
That way I
don't use so
much gas...
But prolly
the best way
I stay green
is I re-use
toothpicks... what I do is keep the same one I been using for the last
7 years in my wallet...it's a little shredded right now...so every night I
put it in the freezer and it gets hard again...sometimes I got to put a
little glue...and I go green when I use that old toothpick to push out
the food that's in between my teeth and then eat it again. It tastes
just a little bit different the second time...but...anyway....whatever.
I figure I must have saved several hundred trees this way."
"Grandpa, when I grow up, I wanna be JUST LIKE YOU."

Melted Faces and Marty Feldman

"Grandpa,
who are the
real good
painters?"
"The good
painters?
Well, I
suppose
that some
of the best
ones are
like Van
Gogh, and
Picasso and
Earl Scheib...why do you ask, my little Honey Bunch of Oats?"
"Well, my doltish lump of wrinkles, cuz I wanna be a painter too.
You see the drawing that mommy made on the bottom? Well I
copied it right above her drawing. In her drawing, the guy uses
mousse but in mine, I think the guy just got out of the shower.
Do you like the way I draw?"
"Yeah, well doing portraits is pretty hard. It's almost impossible
to get the nose and the eyes just right. Then you gotta shade the
picture for shadows and texture and to give it a 3-D effect. That's
why I prefer drawing still life....like your uncles at cleaning time.
Another good one is abstract painting. Which reminds me...I have
to get Uncle Damian's traffic abstract to his attorney. And one of
my favorite ways of painting is surrealism. This would be like Dali,
with his melted faces and Keane with her gigantic eyes.......which
reminds me... Marty Feldman. But the very very very very very
best drawings is the ones that my baby makes...."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0_1F0_20mE&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQ_pKqiB5Rg&feature=related

Kili-Kili White Balls

"Grandpa,
how come
Aunty's
umbrella
is out but
no more
any rain?"
"Well my
little haole
bibingka,
actually
you would
be correct
that most
people use
umbrellas to keep the rain out but sometimes in Hawaii,
you use umbrellas to keep the sun out... you see what
happens is that it can get so hot, that your nose and face
starts to get so hot that beads of sweat bubble on your
nose... and then your kili-kili starts to sweat and then
people are looking at the wet spot on your dark blouse
and thinking, 'Hey knucklehead! Anti-perspirant! Use it.'
And then sometimes, the bookbooks got the dark kili-kili
and for some reason they use a deodorant stick that leaves
little while balls hanging on their pit hair, like a lot of NBA
players, and then people will say, 'Excuse me sister, I can
see your armpit balls hanging.' And that's why they use
umbrellas on a sunny day."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iT89qfDx3yM

Let's Throw Eggs at Pink

"Grandpa,
what's the
worst song
ever?"
"Well my
little bowl
of Cheerios
...I used to
think that
'Kokomo' by
the Beach
Boys was it
...but now I
just heard
one that's even worser than that. It's that knucklehead, Pink.
And the lyrics go a little something like this:
'Na na na na na na na I'm gonna start a fight...
So so what, I'm still a rock star, I got my rock moves, I don't
need you...Na na na na na na na I'm gonna start a fight.'"
"Grandpa, when you hear that song, what do you feel like?"
"I feel like, 'Na na na na na na na, I wanna throw an EGG!
or 'Na na na na na na na, I wanna iron my face!'
or 'Na na na na na na na, I wanna cement my ears!'
or 'Na na na na na na na, I wanna bark at the ants!'"

Halawa Going For the Gold

"Grandpa,
what's the
scoop with
Halawa?"
"Well, my
little gummy
worm, that's
my alma
mater...dass
where it all
began. They
used to call
it the book
book hall...
but that was
before there
was a real
bookbook
hall...but
they still get
plenny books
in Halawa..."
"Yeah, I can
see plenny
making the
shaka sign...
what's the
scoop with
that?"
"Well the
shaka sign
was invented
by the books.
One day, one
of my people
was trying fo
dig deep for
gold, and he
thought if he
could use his
thumb, he
would be able
to get the most of his efforts. But just in case his nostrils
wasn't big enough, he had his little finger ready...just in
case....as a back-up. So whenever somebody would say,
'Eh, howzit bruddah' ...the bookbook would be going for the
gold and he'd say, 'I'm going por de gold, manong' and he'd
have his thumb up in there....and then he'd finish it off with
his pinky...of course, the pinky nail would be longer than his
thumb... and as you know, hoping that he could go where
no man has ever gone....in fact that's what Ethan is doing
with his dad, Uncle Ron."

Kalla Moon Guy Flowers

"Grandpa, check out
this huge yellow tree
in front of Aiea library,
all of the pretty yellow
flowers on the ground
is really really really
nice to look at."
"Yeah, well in Hawaii
there's so much pretty
trees and flowers and
other stuff. This Golden
Shower Tree is not even
the prettiest tree over
here in Hawaii.......the
prettiest tree in Hawaii
is actually the plumeria
... and really it's kind of a
common tree and I think
the plumeria lei is prolly
the cheapest lei you can
buy, but it's that simple
beauty of that flower that
appeals to me the most.
And it really smells good too. They get orange, pink, yellow
and red flowers. The white one is everywhere...it doesn't
grow so good in the mainland, but your old Grandpa got a
few small kine trees. Not too much flowers though...you
cannot beat Hawaii for plumeria trees.....they stay all over
the place. But all the flowers here are all pretty....hibiscus,
red ginger, ilima, protea, tuberose, and kalamungay."
"Grandpa, you sure the kalamungay get pretty flowers?"
"Oh yeah, get the small oval green flowers that Lola puts in
her soup with chicken necks and ginger....."
"Eh knucklehead! Dass the leaves, you ding dong."

What's Retarded at Pearl City Starbucks

"Grandpa,
you Filipino
Orangatang,
what have
you found to
be retarded
lately?"
"Well it's a
bit retarded
whenever
my Starbucks
drink costs
over 3 bucks."
"So what do
you drink ...
you old and
wrinkled
has-been?"
"I guess for
the last 5 or
6 years, it's
been the
same old
crap...grande
decaf ameri-
cano with
extra-extra
caramel
sauce (not
syrup) and
a little bit of steamed milk. So that's really mental, yeah?"
"But why do you drink decaf? Isn't that like drinking non-
alcoholic beer? I mean, what's the point, you knucklehead?"
"Well, my little bundle of joy, I just like the taste I guess.
I haven't had caffeine since '94, and if for some reason I
accidently have some, I get these bad bad headaches that
won't go away until the next day...so I just stay away from
the caff. But if they make my cup just right, it's just goes
down really really good...even better with a crumpet. But it
still irks me that it costs so much."
"You should get what my mommy gets me. It's soy mocha
with whipped cream...it's super good...and it picks me up."
"Ha Ha...that's funny... cuz your mommy TELLS you it's
a soy mocha, but actually it's just hot chocolate with whip...
and so really your drink don't even got no caff in it."
"Thanks for the buzzkill Grand-ape. But, guess what I find
retarded? I think it's mental whenever some old guy grabs
my toy baby doggie and pretends like it's eating my crumpet
and then makes doggie sounds. That's pretty lame. Almost
as lame as having Michael Buble-gay sell your product."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRlgc6GA924&feature=PlayList&p=91FBBA43AC7517E2&playnext=1&index=10

"What Idiot Made Salt Lake Boulevard 25 MPH?"

"Grandpa, is it better to be fast or to be slow?"
"Well, my little crack seed, it kinda depends...
like when your Grammy is irking me and she wants me
to do something, it's fun to be really slow about it...but if
I want something from her, like dinner for example...it's
imperative that she be fast about it... 'Um...how long does
it take to fry spam?' On the one hand, when I wanna go
somewhere and I'm late cuz your Grammy took forever to
choose her outfit, 'Um ... what does this purple flower old lady
dress go with ?' ...then it's good to be able to drive fast so
that I can be on time... on the other hand, I don't wanna get
pulled over by Adam 12 or Ponch or John so I gotta drive
really slow.... 'Eh! Who's the knucklehead who determined
that Salt Lake Boulevard be 25 MPH?'"
"Hey you old hypertensive orangatang............... Adam 12?"
"Yeah, that's right, I'm old...."

"No Mommy! Doodoo Hands...Taste Good."

"Grandpa,
I want to
suck my
thumb but
mommy
wants to
wash my
hands first.
I don't get
what the
big deal is."
"Well, my
little haole
girl...the big
deal is that
you don't know what kind of stuff you went touch...what kind of
crap stay on your hands...you know here in Hawaii, they get all
kinds of cocka-roaches and ukus and kukai and lawai and gecko
droppings and da old bookbook ladies spitting out their chewing
tobacco or betelnut and hanabadas that went drip from da keikis
and door knobs full of bagoong juice...so you better wash da hands."
"Excuse me, but don't your people actually PUT bagoong in food?"

"One is a Genius .... the Other Insane"

Grandpa Dan: "But why do they call it a pinky?"

Namaile: "No, it's a finger."

Grandpa Dan: "But don't they call it a pinky?"

Namaile: "No, that's a pinky door."

Grandpa Dan: "Oh, pinky door?"

Namaile: "Yeah."

Grandpa Dan: "Oh... I don't know who.....that is."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJPFSNu_QNs

"Grandpa, Why Did They Name It Crazy Shirts?"

"Grandpa,
how come
they went
name their
store....
Crazy
Shirts?"
"Well my
little snack
parfait, I
think what
happened
was that a
long long
time ago,
actually the
place was
called,
'Retarded
Shirts'....
but I guess
sales were
not that
good....so
then they
went change
the name to
'Thelma
Shirts' but of course that offended the Radford class of '75.
They tried 'Mahu Shirts' but that irritated all of the Buble,
Archuletta and Jonas Sisters fans. They even gave 'Space
Shirts' a try, but Paula Abdul got mad. So, next they tried
'Nothing Meaningful to Say Shirts' a shot, but of course,
Randy Jackson got mad. So they finally settled on 'Crazy
Shirts' and the only one that got mad was Uncle Damian...
so I guess it's all good."

Aiea Library 1958

"Grandpa, why do you like the show 'Life on Mars'?"
"I like any show that involves time travel ... that's
why I like other shows like that....'Quantum Leap',
'Back to the Future', 'Groundhog Day', 'Frequency'
and 'Bill and Ted'. I especially like the idea of going
back...if I could.... I'd take you back with me."
"Where would you take me, Grandfool? Would it be
70s New Years on Hokea Street? Or the 1977 Raiders
Super Bowl? Or to Kalapana - C&K at Aloha Stadium
in 1976? Where would you take me?"
"Actually, all of those would be good. But first, I guess
I'd take you to Aiea Library 1958. Do you see this big
yellow tree? This is where our house used to be when
I was a small kid. My Ilocano dad was still alive and
me and Grandpa Dan used to play here when we were
your age now. It would have been nice to run with you
back in hana bada days. You know, you are closest to
the people that knew you when you were younger.....
I was there when you were born, and it would be cool
if you knew me when I was small so you could feel the
same thing I have for you. But anyway....If I could....
I'd take you back....."
"Grandpa, I think you just did."

Out in Field with Aunty Glenda

"Grandpa,
what's the
difference
between
field in the
mainland
and field
in Hawaii?"
"Well, one
thing that's
different is
that in the
mainland,
when you
go field, we
go break
at some
coffee place
like Tully's,
Starbucks,
or some
foofoo place
but over in
Hawaii, you
can break
at Leonards
and eat hot
malasadas,
or Aiea get
fresh manas, baked or steamed....or you can go Aiea
shave ice place and have anykine flavor with azuki
beans and ice cream on top...or you can go anyplace
and get fresh ahi poke with cold Budweiser...."
"What grandpa, you can drink beer in field in Hawaii?"
"Oh yeah......... After you pau field you can....
no forget to take off your tie..."
"Grandpa, what else is different about field in Hawaii?"
"Well in Hawaii, you can tell your return visit, 'Eh bla-lah,
you remember me or what?' and then they will say,'Ho,
you da guy dat went leave magazines yeah? Was so good.
What? You get some more o' what? I like read 'em.' and
then you can say, 'Heeah den, read dis one...it's good...
it's about Mary...' and then they'll say, 'Ho, brah...dat's
da same one you went give me last time...try look...
January issue brah... January....I already get 'em...what?
You no more da Feb-you-ary one? You knucklehead!'
and then you can say, 'Ho, sorry bla-lah, I never place
all my January issues yet...you sure you no like another
Mary issue?' and then they can say, 'Fo real? I can have
another one? Ho...tanks brah....I can give this one to my
cousin Junior Boy... You get some more? I like give to my
Aunty Honeygirl..."

Crackin' Up at Knock Knock Jokes

"Grandpa,
you ancient
and wrinkled
fool, do you
know who
these guys
are?"
"Well my
little MiniMo
...that would
be Ethan up
in front, his
dad - Uncle
Ron that's
holding you and Uncle Nelly holding down the back.
And somebody with a giant green ring got her hand
on Ethan's shoulder. I hope she won't get carpal tunnel.
It looks like everybody's cracking up at something.
Did Ethan tell you the famous Hawaii knock-knock joke?"
"No...what's the famous Hawaii knock-knock joke?"
"Well, it's not even really that funny....here it goes.....
Knock knock...who's there?...Me Ma.....Me Ma who?..."
"Grandfool, is that the joke? That's sadly un-funny."
"Yeah, well if you've had a few beers...it's hilarious."
"Grandknucklehead...what's the best knock-knock
joke you ever heard?"
"Well, I have to warn you first...my sense of funny
isn't probably gonna be your sense of funny.....
But here goes....
Tell somebody, 'Knock knock'...and then when they say
'Who's there?'...just turn around and walk away."
"Grandpa, did you fall on your head when you was small?"

(click on the picture and check out that green ring)

"Toya Loong Kaya" With Lola

"Grandpa,
check it out
...your mom
is carrying
me on her
legs and we
are going up
and down...
kind of like
riding a
horsey....I
guess.......
she likes to
sing this old
Visayan song
....'Toya .....
Loong kaya...
tapay-tapay
nang laya....'
What does
that song
mean?"
"Well my
little chicken
empanada...
I think it
translates to
'Thelma......
oh Grandma,
you shop you shop too much laya..'
I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure that's what it
means. Don't quote me okay?"
"Grandpa, how come Lola has bedsheets covering
everything? She got bedsheets covering the sofa,
bedsheets covering the chairs, and the artwork?
Is it because I'm visiting her this month?"
"Actually, my little cinnamon malasada, she's been
covering stuff ever since I was a small kid. We used
to have plastic on all of our stuff...so I guess using
bedsheets is an improvement. I think she does it is
so that stuffs don't wear out. "
"Grandpa, if we cover you with a bedsheet, will you
not wear out?"
"Every night I cover myself with a bedsheet, but
it doesn't seem to help."

"Buenas Dias Knucklehead"

"Grandpa,
here's a pic
of me out
in front of
Lola's yard
...she gots
planny
flowers and
it's really
pretty.....
I'm having
a lot of fun
here in 808
....what's
crackin' over there in Oceanside?"
"Well, we went to James O'Connor's wedding and ate
like a pig...then went to Oriental Market yesterday and
ate like a pig...your Grammy made some Butter Mochi and
RumCake.....yes, and I ate like a pig....that's pretty much
all that happened. Oh and, we was out in field yesterday,
and saw some Spanish friends...of course I stuck my head
out of the van as I drove by them and said, 'Buenas Dias
mis hermanas'....and they looked at me and replied, 'Hi'.....
They couldn't reply back in Spanish, 'Hola knucklehead...
gracias for trying' ......Hmmmmm.....was it my accent?...
.........I don't know.....maybe it was the way I said it....
They were probably thinking like how cats think when
people see 'em and say, 'Hey cat! Meow.....Meow.....Meow..'
the cat is thinking, 'Look at that retard trying to talk 'cat'."

Aunty Dez and Her Dad

"Grandpa,
check out
this picture
with me n
Aunty Dez
and her dad
...his name
is Gus Gus."
"Is that the
same Gus
Gus from
Cinderalla?"
"No you
retarded
Ilocano-Visayan orangatang. That was a Disney character.
Dez's dad is a Visayan character. Btw...you chap-lipped flip,
how do they do those Disney mouse voices? It's all high
Dennis Pavao falsetto an den."
"Well, my little pink Flintstone pill, all they do is get some
real mice and teach 'em how to sing, and then through the
miracle of high technology, speed up their voices so that they
sound like Alvin and the Chipmunks. It's pretty simple."
"Grandpa, you're so smart. You're the best Grandpa ever."
"Yes, I know."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yY30B9ZMq4U&feature=PlayList&p=BA97C1862C94F2C2&playnext=1&index=9

"No, I Don't Have Any Archuletta"

"Grandpa,
check out
this cool
desk that
I get to
draw on.
It's got a
light inside
so that it
makes my
drawings
all pretty.
Do you got
a desk at
your work?"
"Well, as a
matter of
fact there
my little
Haagen Daz
bar, your old
and stupid
Grandpops
gots a desk
at work.....
I don't have
a cool light
underneath
but I got a
subwoofer
and a beach
guitar under
there to rest
my footsies,
and I got a
talking fish
that wears a
lei made up
candy and a
lei on his tail
made of a
wristband
that says
'Safety'......
and a bunch
of CDs like
C&K's first
album and
other good
stuff....and
I got a toy
giraffe that
makes noise
when you
push down
on his head,
but the best
thing I got is a mess of papers everywhere, and Skyflakes
cracker crumbs all over the floor, and squashed up chocolate
pieces squished all over important papers, an old Pioneer
receiver which plays all my Kalapana, Dave Matthews, Beatles,
Steely, Jimi, Stevie before '78, Marvin, JT, Boz, Lopaka Marley,
Q, Stax, Motown, and anything good."
"Grandpa, don't you got any stuff that Aunty Mahina likes?"

"How Ironic...A Book Reading a Book"

"Grandpa,
how many
books are
there in a
library?"
"Wwwell,
my little
spring roll,
it depends.
Like in the
top picture
I'm not
sure how
many are
inside the
library, but
outside I
can see two
books. And
it makes a
difference
which place
you talking
about...like
Salt Lake /
Moanalua
Library get
a fair amount
of books but
the Waipahu Library get choke books. The libraries over
here in San Diego has a modicum amount of books in the
La Jolla area...but in National City, the books are a-plenty.
I would say the amount of books there is almost as much
as the amount of books in Kalihi."
"Grandpa, you retarded ape, are we talking about the
same books?"

"Beaches...Ocean...Collagen...Doo-Doo"

"Grandpa,
check it
out.....I'm
at Ko Olina
beach on da
Westside...
I was just
thinking...
there's so
much sand
over here..
is there
anything
that's as numerous as the grains of sand on this beach?
And is there anything deeper than the Pacific Ocean?"
"Well, my little purple skittle, the answer to your first
question is - the amount of collagen that was injected
into the lips of the lady that just had 8 babies....and the
answer to your second question - the amount of doodoo
that she has just stepped in."

"Thanks Grandpa....That Was Really Interesting"

"Grandpa,
have you
ever been
bored to
death?"
"Well, as a
matter of
fact, my
hapa-haole
kitty kat,
I've been
bored lots
of times...
one time a
co-worker
was just
jibber-
jabbering
about who-
knows-what
... I hope I
never get a
year-end
review from
my manager
again.......
'Roy, you're
the best
employee
we've ever had'....'Roy, you've surpassed all of our expectations
and I believe we should name an award after you.'.....'Roy, would
you consider taking my job, on your way up to the top of course,
and then when you become CEO of our company, would you give
yourself a big bonus for your awesomeness?'.....'Roy, could we clone
you, so that we could have even more perfect employees in our
company?'.... Year-end reviews can be soooooooo boring.
You know what I mean, little girl?.........Little girl?......Namaile?.... "
"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-cEns1luUA

Grammy? What Grammy You talking About?

"Grandpa,
what do you
think about
my Grammy?"
"Well, actually
I thought it
went fairly
well last nite.
They had a
lot of live
music and
not so much
talking and
accepting
awards and
giving speeches
although I thought it's always funny whenever the award
goes to more than one person, like a band or a duo, and
then they gotta come up a say thanks to everybody. Like
last night, the first time Robert Plant and Allison Kraus
came on stage to accept a Grammy and Robert Plant said
his nonsense and it looked like Allison wanted to say something
but some girl escorted them away from the podium. I think
that there should be a rule that whenever there is multiple
winners that only one person can talk. One suprise for me
was Al Green, Justin Timberlake (he's bringing sexy back),
Boys to Men (not quite at the end of the road yet) and Nicole
Kidman's husband did 'Let's Stay Together'. It came off really
really good and Nicole's husband can play the guitar. It was a
last minute replacement for Chris Brown who had to bounce
cuz he was at the PoPo station. For a last minute thing, it came
off really flawless I thought. So, all in all, I thought the Grammy's
came off pretty good."
"Hey, old flip, I was talking about your WIFE."
http://namaile.blogspot.com/2008/08/grammy-forget-grammywhat-about-grandpa.html

"Hey Food! Do You MInd? I'm Trying to Eat You."

"Grandpa,
do you ever
talk to your
food?"
"Well my
little crack
seed, every
once in a
while I'll say
to my food,
'Hey food,
who went
cook you?
Rachel Ray

da Wacko?
You taste
like wood.'
Why do you
ask?"
"Ummm...
Grandpa....
this french
fry is trying
to talk to me."
"Pssst.........
hey little girl
...If I were
you, I'd avoid
starches....it's a pretty useless food group....stuff like
rice and bagels and pasta and POTATOES. It don't got
no redeeming nutritious value....all it does is produce
giant doodoos and makes your butt big. Do you want
a gigantic butt? By the way...the answer is NO....so
don't eat me, okay? Go eat your stinkin' vegetables....
vegetables is good for you. Mmmmmm.......gulay..."
"Hey you knucklehead french fry...aren't you a vegetable?"
(click on the bottom picture)

Can I Just Hanai You Right Now?

"Grandpa, do you like
the way I draw? I know
I'm not as good as a big
girl...but anyway, I was
just wondering...cuz i'm
not sure if I'm drawing
so good and I want you
to love me when I'm junk."
"Well my little bulgogi,
I would love anything
that you do....if you were
to draw a kangaroo, I'll
love it...even if you drew
it with pink and purple
polka dots and the lines
were all crazy and even
if you included things that
made it biologically correct
........and even if you made
a giant pile of kangaroodoo under it's okole...and even if you
put clothes on it, like one of those mahu dogs on the mainland
...and even if you put a different kind of animal in it's pouch
and named it 'Steve'....and especially if you made it smile and
you drew a rainbow and a sun with a smiley face on it...
cuz you're my baby girl... just like your mom and Aunty Mahina
and there's nothing that you can do that could make me not love you.
Everything you do is perfect, and everything you do makes me happy."
"Grandpa, even though I don't really understand a word you're saying
...cuz after all, this is an imaginary conversation...I know you love me.
Now back off old man....I can smell your breakfast."

The Truth About Super Bowls

"Grandpa, what is the big deal about the Super Bowl?"
"Well, my inquisitive little siopaw, the whole thing about
Super Bowls are the commercials. They usually show the
best commercials at the Big Game."
"Grandpa, you oafish orangatang, are you telling me that
nobody cares about the game?"
"Actually, nobody cares about the game unless the Oakland
Raiders are involved. That's why this year, people will only
be watching the game to watch the commercials."
"Grandpa, are you retarded?"
"Um........................................yes."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dKMtWqGoNQ