Why Do They Grow Up?

"Grandpa, I think I'm gonna get married one day."
"WHAT?? I don't think so. Remember when you were two years
old and I asked you to never get married and that you would just
live with your Grandpa and Grammy forever? Remember? Huh?"
"Ummmmm, no. I don't remember that."
"Well I do.... so you can forget about getting married."
"Grandpa, I think I'm gonna get married and that's that.
You probably aren't gonna like the guy cuz nobody will really
measure up to what you'd like my husband to be. But I'm gonna
get married one day, and you'll have to deal with it. He's not the
one you wanted, but he's the one that I want. Sorry....anyway, just
remember Grandpa, that you will always be my Grandpa and
I'll always be your little girl. Okay? Can you do that?"
"Um ..... no."
"Grandpa?"
"No."
"Graaaaandpaaaaa????"
"Yes?"
"Ha! You said yes."
"No."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xTWWN7iPrc

Naialii the Smart Thinker

"Grandpa, can you tell what I'm thinking by looking at my face?"
"Oh yeah, I know exactly what you're thinking. Just by looking
at your face, I can tell you're thinking about my Oakland Raiders
and what will it take for them to get back into the playoffs."
"Um, no....that wasn't it."
"Well, okay, cuz you really really really really do have that look.
Maybe then you're thinking about your Grammy and why she has
a propensity to buy stuff and then return it within a week, only to
go and purchase more stuff that she will undoubtedly return."
"Wrong again, Einstein."
"Okay, I think I got it. By looking at your face, you're thinking that
your Grandpa is the best Grandpa in the whole wide world and
that your Grandpa, although very old and stupid, is also very very
very very very handsome and smart."
"Yeah, you're right Grandpa, that's exactly what I was thinking."

YEEEE HAAAWWW

"Grandpa, what do you say when you're happy?"
"I don't know... sometimes I yell, "STINKIN'  MONKEY!"
"Grandpa, isn't that phrase offensive to stinkin' monkeys?"
"Oh I suppose so... well other times I yell, "Moon ZAPPA!"
"Grandpa, isn't there actually a person named Moon Zappa?"
"Yeah, well I guess you're right again. How about "KRAKA!"
"Grandpa, isn't that something you put cheese on?"
"Yeah ... right again. Well how about "AY CHIHUAHUA!"
"Once again Grandpa, something you put cheese on."
"In Hawaii, people like to say "CHEEE HOOO!"
"Yeah, well we ain't in Hawaii. We stay in da mainland, brah."
"Well, if we're in the mainland, I suppose we could say,
'YEEEEEE HAAAWW!"
"Grandpa, you're the smartest Grandpa in the whole world"

No FOTO!!!

"Grandpa, do you like it when people take pictures of you?"
"Nah, not really... mostly cuz I'm not good at posing. I don't
know if you've noticed, but some people are good at posing.
When somebody with a camera says, 'Smile'... they have a
pretty decent smile ready to go. But when people tell me to
smile, I have to think of something stupid ... like doo doo, or
something else retarded in order to put on a fake smile. Most
times, that trick doesn't work and then you got a picture of
me with a half smile, red eye, half lids, or mouth open with
food in it. So I pretty much try to avoid pictures."
"What can I say when a camera is in my face?"
"Do what I do, with a fake Italian accent yell, 'NO FOTO!'"
"No foto?"
"Yeah, that'll work... remember to use an Italian accent."
"Grandpa, you're the smartest Grandpa in the world."