LadyBug Cupcakes and Hoodies

"Grandpa, look.
I'm wearing a
hoody and it's
the middle of
summer and I
got a ladybug
cupcake."
"Yeah, one time
I saw this kid
walking from
Radford High
School and he
was wearing a
hoody ... what a
knucklehead!!
It was Hawaii
and the mental
boy is wearing
a hoody. But
then I thought
about it and it
makes sense
cuz his heroes
on the latest
Juelz Santana
video was also
wearing hoodys."
"Bla bla bla bla
Grandpa, yeah
whatever... so
what do you
think about my
ladybug stuff?"
"Yeah, that's so
cool when they
make food look
like insects. So
I guess it was
too hard to make
a grasshopper
cupcake, so.......
Your Uncle Troy
just made some
cornbread cup-
cakes... what a
co-in-key-dink.
There's two best
parts of cupcakes
....one is the crust
cuz crust is always
good...and two is
butter when it's
not all the way
melted...just some
of it is melted and
the rest is still a
little bit cold and
when you bite it
you can taste the
hot and the cold
butter."
"Hey, retarded
old Ilocano ape,
....um...nothing...
I just felt like calling you an old Ilocano ape."
"This ladybug reminds me a little bit about a
song that I remember from Sesame Street. It's how
your mom and Uncle Damian learned how to count to 12.
Your Aunty Mahina and your other two knucklehead
uncles never really watched Sesame Street."
"Grandpa, how come they never really watched Sess St?"
"They were too busy, doing chores and schoolwork......."
"Ha ha ha! Chores and schoolwork? Grandpa, you crack me up."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xr8vUTm64h0

(Plup...Plup...Plup) "Hey! Where'd These Bubbles Come From?"

"Grandpa, the water is nice and cool here. That's good cuz
it's super hot now in Seattle now. But how come the water
is warm right here under my butt? ....Mmm....Aaaaaaaaah."

You Get a Faster Buzz With a Straw

"Grandpa, how
come I never
see you drink
coffee?"
"Well, my little
turon, I drink
every once in
a while, but it
gotta be de-caf
cuz me and caf
don't get along.
I used to be
able to drink a
billion cups of
coffee a day,
but for some
reason, in 1994
caffeine started
giving me head
aches....so now
I can only drink
de-caf. Not cuz
I need to, but
cuz I like the
taste. We used to percolate a pot of Yuban or Folgers
every morning. Our house used to smell so good when
that stuff was brewing. I miss that smell. But now, I'll go
to SB once every two weeks or so whenever the car group
feels like it. Then I'll just get me a Grande De-caf Americano
with extra extra extra caramel. If they had some steamed
milk ready, I'd ask them to pour a little bit of it in the cup.
That's what I drink. Then I'm good for the next two weeks.
Bla bla bla bla bla ... me and my de-caf ....bla bla bla bla."
"That's funny Grandpa, cuz all I heard was 'bla bla bla.'"

Don't Poke the Baby's Head, and Don't Spank Grammy's Butt

"Grandpa, look! There's three bolo head babies. Two fake
ones and one real one. Tessa and me got the fake ones."
"Well my little dingleberry, thanks for the clarification.
You know, you have to watch out for babies' heads. He's
got a soft spot on the top of his bolo head...so don't poke
it or else his baby brains is gonna spill out."

"Grandpa, don't you hate it when people tell you stuff
that you shouldn't do, cuz now I wanna touch his head.
It's like, 'don't touch the wet paint' or 'don't feed the
animals.' Why'd you have to tell me that? Now I wanna
poke the top of his head and see how soft it is."

"Oh Namaile, did I ever tell you that you should never
never spank your Grammy's butt? Cuz if you spank her,
she'll give you a lot of candy and stuff."

I'm Almost Positive That I Got One

"Grandpa,
how do we
know that
dinasours
really were
around? I
mean, have
you ever
seen one?"
"That's a
really good
question my
little buttah
mochi....So
anyway, we
know that
they lived
cuz we got
their bones.
But you're
right, if we
didn't have
the bones,
who can really say that they saw one? I never saw one.
So since I seen pictures of the bones, I can definitely
say that a long long time ago, there were dinasours."
"Grandpa, I can't see your brains...you got one, right?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10zrO5FNxB8

Michael Boobla-gay

"Grandpa,
did you know
that it hit 139
degrees last
week here in
Washington?"
"Ummmmm
I don't think
it was 139...
but I heard
it got pretty
hot.....I like
your pool."
"Yeah, your
mom likes it too."
"Namaile, let me tell you what happened today. I share my
office with 2 other people, so when I play my music I try to
include stuff that they like too. What's bad is when I'll have
like 10 good songs in a row, and then I'll play some crap like
Michael Buble for this engineer in the office. But do people
walk in when Marvin Gaye, Raphael Saadiq, or Kalapana is
playing? No, they walk in when Michael Booblagay is on. So
they're like, 'Roy! What kind of crap is this?' Then they look
at me like I got a chancre on my face.....I hate that."
"Grandpa, you're old and stupid."