"Yeah, there's planny rules. Here's my top ten list:
Rule 1: Don't touch baby's mouth.
Rule 2: Don't touch the soft spot on top of their heads.
Rule 3: If they crap, don't wipe their butts...wash their butts.
Rule 4: They're only ugly and deformed right when they're born.
Rule 5: They're cute by the second day....usually.
Rule 6: If they start crying, give em to their mommy.
Rule 7: Don't sing "Close open, Close open" to them.
Rule 8: Have music on constantly so they will love the sounds.
Rule 9: Kiss them and say "I love you, you're fat" cuz it's fun.
Rule 10: Put powder on their butts."
"Grandpa, you're the smartest Grandpa in the world."
"Yes, I've heard that before. Thank you for noticing."
