Princess Pupule Get Choke Papayas

"Grandpa,
check it out
...Lola has
a statue of
Artemis in
front of her
place."
"By the dew
of mountains
... that isn't
a statue....
that's what
we call a
papaya tree.
Your Lola
planted the
papaya seed
in February
and just 10
months later
this tree is
like full of
papayas."
"Grandpa, how many months would it take for a seed
to grow into a papaya tree there in the mainland?"
"How many months? Ha Ha Ha! You crack me up."
"Grandpa if I let the tree smell my kili kili, will it make
the papaya taste better?"
"Kili kili smell make food taste better? Hmmmmmm."

Statue Got Back

"Grandpa,
what is this
statue all
about?"
"Yes, well
my little
spam roll,
this statue
in front of
the Hawaii
Convention
Center is
sposed to
represent
the generosity and goodwill of the Hawaiian people.
The front of the statue has the guy pouring out some
Hawaiian water from his hands, showing his aloha."
"Umm....I like it cuz his butt gives me a lot of shade."

Inexplicable

"So Namaile,
what's up with
that pose?"
"Pose? No brah
I always stand
like this....Hey,
you old mental
bookbook, you
got any jokes?"
"Um....well I'm
not sure if I told
you this one....
So there's this
blond chick and
she was driving
her car down
the road, maybe
she was going a
little too fast so
a cop pulls her
over. The cop
is a blond too.
So the blond
cop says to the blond driver, "You were speeding.
May I please see your driver's license, please?"
So the blond inexplicably pulls out a mirror and
shows the mirror to the blond cop. And the blond
cop looks at the mirror and is like, "Oh...why didn't
you tell me that you were a cop?"
"Grandpa, I like the part where you said, 'inexplicably'."

Namaile and Kaylie

"Get by, get high, gonna try, gonna eat junk food,
gonna wake up late and no clean my room,
gonna act mental whenever I feel like it,
gonna borrow each other's clothes whenever,
gonna text 24/7 you as soon as I get a phone,
gonna hassle our old bookbook dads
with a little help from my friends."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBDF04fQKtQ&NR=1

Who's a Knucklehead Now?

"Grandpa, if there was no gravity, wouldn't life
be so much funner?"
"By the dew of Hermon, life would be hilarious.
Let's say you were on top of a van, and then you
jumped off ... well you would just start floating
in the air and then your Grammy would be like,
"Hey you knuckleheads! Namaile is floating in
space, somebody get her." She's all panicking but
hey! There's no gravity. So I would be like, "Hey
you knucklehead Grammy, look! I can float too."
And then I would float away to grab you, and then
we'd end up on some cloud. Then we'd both lie
down on the cloud and look down at your Grammy
and say, "Hey! Grammy! Who's a knucklehead now?"

Carseat Bumpin'

"Grandpa, why does music make me wanna dance?"
"Umm... okay.... why does music make people dance?
Well, in our brain there is a happy chemical that will
react to the different tones that is heard in music.
This happy chemical is called seratonin which comes
from the Greek words 'Sera' which means 'shaking'
and 'Tonin' which means 'Tones with a beat', plural.
So when you hear the bumps, it shakes your rumps."
"Grandpa, are you full of crap.... just making up crap?"
"Making up crap? Ha ha ha ha ha! You crack me up."


http://namaile.blogspot.com/2007/11/bookbookhawaiian-girl-dancing.html

Namaile and a Dude With a Chinese Outfit

"Hey"
"Um....."
"So my name
is Namaile....
my Grandpa
is retarded."
"Um......ok"
"I like your
outfit....what
is it? Are you
Chinese?"
"Um ......I'm
not sure....
I think my
mom is from
bookbook
land and my
dad is haole."
"Okay....so,
anyway, it's
cool, did you
wear it at
Long Beach?"
"Yeah, I got
like 4 of 'em.
One green,
one red, one
with flying
Dilberts on it, and this one. What about you? Your
dress had big polka dots on it. It's pretty nice."
"Yeah, my mom bought it. I wore one outfit in the
morning and this one in the afternoon."
"Why'd you change? Did you soil yourself?"
"No. Do you ever watch TV and the performer
changes her outfit after every song? That's why
I changed. That "THING" I wore earlier is so
15 minutes ago. You know what I mean?"
"Um....no.....are you a performer?"
"Am I a performer? Ha Ha Ha! You crack me up!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_D0i7UC9UY

Two Chicks Talking

"Kaylie, did
you see what
that Ho was
wearing?"
"Omg, did
you ever see
anything like
that before?
I wouldn't
ever, ever
wear that
mess. She
prolly got it
at Goodwill
...ha ha ha."
"Um...yeah!
You know
what? That's
where my old
and stupid
Grandpa gets
his retarded
clothes!"
"Ha ha ha!
Hey look at
that one or
there. She's
a wreck. I
think that
she watches
Disney and
said, 'Mom,
take me to
Macy's and
buy me some
Miley Cyrus.'
Ha ha ha.....
Hanna Mess
Tana! She's
so meh. Her
dad has a
mullet."
"Um yeah.... my old and stupid Grandpa is a mullet."
"Group hug. Namaile, I'm so glad we're not retarded."
"Retarded like Hanna Banana? Or retarded like my
old and retarded Grandpa?"
"Ha ha ha.... same thing."

Seaworld Mirror - Part One

"Grandpa, do you ever talk to your mirror?"
"Oh yeah, all the time... I usually say stuff like,
'You're an idiot' or 'Why didn't you use sunscreen
when you were younger?' or '50 is the new 30' or
'Is this what you have become?' or 'One day soon,
you'll be older and stupider, like maybe tomorrow.'
or 'Where did that come from? That wasn't there
yesterday!' or 'Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the
retardiest of them all?' .... stuff like that."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdQ9jh5GvQ8

Seaworld Mirror - Part Two

"Grandpa,
check out this mirror.
It's pretty
retarded. I
don't think
it's entirely
accurate."
"Yeah, well
mirrors are
never really
accurate.
First of all,
what you
see in themirror is backwards. So if you got 5 zits on the right
side of your face, you've actually got 5 zits on the LEFT
side of your face. If you see in your reflection that you
got spaghetti sauce and a piece of hot dog on the right
side, it's actually on the LEFT side. On the other hand, if you look in the mirror and think that your butt is fat,
the mirror is probably right. In fact, your butt is probably
fatter than you think. So....Yeah, mirrors are retarded."

My People Also Eat Spam

"Grandpa,
check it out
I'm eating
a piece of
chicken in
a rice thing
wrapped in
seaweed."
"Well my
little bran
muffin, you
actually do
not have
chicken....
what you got there is Spam. Spam is made
out of cow hoofs, dog berries and pork gristle.
It's high in protein. It's also high in gristle. The
Nori seaweed just holds the sticky rice together.
It's good assembly food. Why not eat a couple?
People from Hawaii just love eating Spam. And
bookbooks use it in their spaghetti when there's
no hot dogs in the refrigerator. And it's no wonder
cuz it's high in sodium and cow, pork, and dog.
You'll enjoy the sticky rice and how the starch
immediately turns into sugar. The bloat is good
for napping in the afternoon session."
"Thanks Grandpa for that nutritious lunch."
"Nutritious? It's Spam. Ha Ha Ha! Bon apetit!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_eYSuPKP3Y

Too Much TV Can Be Bad Sometimes

"Grandpa,
check it out
... I'm doing
what books
do best.....
pose."
"Actually,
my little
haole girl,
not every
book is good
at posing....
take me for
example, I
wouldn't say
that I'm a
good poser."
"But didn't
you used to
be a male
model?"
"Male model,
um yeah, but
that was a
long, long,
long, long
time ago...
about five
years ago...
but lately
I've been
just a male."
"That's ok
Grandpa,
I can show
you a few
poses. Just
pretend like
you're in a
van. Then
just pretend
like you're
a mental girl from Seattle. Then when you smile, just
think about 'I wonder what Tyra Banks would do.' If
you can pull it off, people will be like, 'That girl is pretty.'"
"Um...yeah....that's exactly what I want people to think
of me whenever I'm posing in a van passenger seat."

Just Your Typical Bookbook Outfit

"Grandpa, do I
look bookish?"
"If I had me a
dictionary, and
of course I don't,
but if I did and if
I looked up the
word "bookbook"
I would see your
picture wearing
that outfit."
"Grandfool, what
is up with books
and our propensity
for wearing colors?"
"Well, now you got
me confused cuz
you just used the
word 'propensity',
but I would say
that books like to
wear colors cuz of
electricity in the
Philippines. What
happens is that
at certain times of
the day when you
got a lot of people
home watching
'Wowowee', there
is a great demand
for electricity. And
when the demand
for electricity is
high, the power
companies no can
handle, so they got
this thing called a
rolling brownout
where power goes
out for a certain
amount of time so
that you got no
light. And if you got no light, then you just put on
some bright outfit, like what you're wearing right there,
or what most Ilocanos wear on a daily basis, and then
the brightness of the outfit will light up the dark night
so that you won't be bumping your head on stuff."
"Yeah, but Grandpa, first of all, I thought a 'rolling
brownout' was you putting on pants. Secondly, 'putting
on a bright outfit' indicates that a person was at some
point not wearing a bright outfit, which isn't possible.
And third, putting on something to light up the night
doesn't explain why books wear the brightness during
the day. All day. Everyday."

"Grandpa, I think that USED to be true. Books don't

dress like that anymore."

"Oh reeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaallllyyyyy?????....................."