Sweet Baby Namaile

"Grandpa, you old Filipino freak, what's the key to
having a good night's rest?"
"Well my little Yick Lung chip, there's a couple things:
1. Pratesi 800 count bed sheets
2. Large fluffy down pillows
3. Good background music - Old JT
4. Foot massage right before moi moi
5. Late night wine or JWalker Black

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2EZUw2mvjs

"Grandpa, What's Mo Betta?"

"Grandpa, what's better?
The Oakland Raiders now
or the Raiders back in the
70's?"
"Well, my little Ho-Ho, the
Oakland Raiders in the
70's dominated everybody
but now they just are sad
and pathetic."
"Grandpa, what's better?
The music now or the
music back in the 70s?"
"Well, my little dumpling,
today you got Lady
Gaga, Michael Buble and
the Jonas Sisters but in
the 70's you had EWF,
Kalapana with Mackey,
and Gabby."
"Grandpa, what's better?
TV now or TV in the 70's?"
"Well, my little Twinkie,
today you got Leno,
America's Got Talent and
Wayne Brady. But back in
the 70's had Carson, Gong
Show and the original cast
of SNL. "
"Grandpa, what's better?
Your basketball skills now
or your basketball skills
back in the 70's?"
"Well, my little apple pie,
back in the 70's I could
dribble the ball, now I just
dribble."
"Grandpa, what's better?
Uncle Damian now or my
Uncle Damian in the 70's?"
"Well my little blueberry
muffin, your Uncle Damian back in the 70's was cute
and always listened to me whatever I said. Now he
looks like Dog and Leland should be hunting him
and then telling him, 'Hey brah, why you went
skip bail and den?'"
"Grandpa, what do you think about this picture
of me and Uncle Damian and this other picture
with Uncle Damian and my mommy in the 70's?"
"Same thing I think when I see you ...'How come
you guys gotta grow up?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJg8ICcjVH4&feature=related

Making Shee Shee at Seattle Hyatt

"Grandpa, check it out, this bathroom is huge."
"Yeah, Grand Hyatt Seattle. Yankee players and
their wives are all over this place. They like the
big bathrooms."
"Grandpa, why is there a telephone by the toilet?"
"That's just in case the president is calling you or
if you need to call Pizza Hut for another pie."
"Grandpa, why is there marble tile everywhere?"
"Yeah, that's so when you get the garden hose out
you can just spray the walls and everything."
"Grandpa, why am I smiling when I shee shee?"
"Yeah, well that's cuz shee shee is a happy maker."

Ten Questions from Namaile

"Grandpa, I got ten questions. These are very important."
"Shoots"
"Number 1: Have you ever refered to Grammy as Shawtie?"
"No"
"Number 2: Have you ever pluralized with a 'Z'?"
"No"
"Number 3: Does Grammy prefer 'Thelma' or 'Toi'?"
"Thelma"
"Number 4: Do two wrongs make a right?
"No"
"Number 5: Can you spanishize a word by adding an "O"?
"Yes"
"Number 6: Have you ever seen the yellow mustard mountains?"
"No"
"Number 7: What sounds better, Ilocano or Visayan?"
"Visayan"
"Number 8: The worst singer ever?
"Either Britney or Nelly Furtado"
"Number 9: Bookbooks squat because....?"
"...Because squatting facilitates flatulations."
"Number 10: I'm squatting because....?"
"...Because you're a bookbook."
"Thank you Grandpa, you are a wise man."

(random TOP song)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DptRJzHNI6A

Grandpa, What an Icebox?

"Grandpa,
check it out
...I'm eating
popsicle by
my front
porch...it's
so good cuz
it's super
hot up in
here."
"Yeah well
at least you
got a real
popsicle....
me and your
Grandpa
Dan used to
have to make
popsicles....
we had some
tupperware
thingys and
then we'd
put some
juice in it
and then I
had to put
it in the ice
box and we had to wait for it to freeze. So
it would be so stinkin' hot but the stuff wouldn't
be ready to eat till it was evening time. And like
mental boys, we'd look to check to see if it was
frozen yet...but like I said, it wouldn't be ready
till it wasn't hot outside anymore. After awhile,
the plastic tupperware had teeth marks from
where I'd bite the thing to get the last piece of
ice. Anyway, you don't have to worry bout that
cuz your mommy and daddy buys you real popsicles
not the fake kine that I had when I was a small kid."
"But Grandpa, wasn't it funner that you made your
own stuff? I think that's cool you made popsicles."

If People Talked Like Dogs Part I

"WORF! WORF! WORF! RAWRFFF!"
"mmm mmmm mmm mmararawarf"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chrP2MukhIQ

If People Talked like Dogs Part II

"woorf woorf woorf"
"arrr arrr raarf"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDUBVFt21ps