She Saved a Lot of Money

Why are
you so sad,
little girl?
Are you
sad cuz
you live
in Tacoma
and your
grandpa
lives in
Calley?
Yes?
And are
you sad
cuz your
grandpa
isn't with
you every
day?....
watching
"Blues
Clues"
and
"Back-
yardigans"
with you?
Yes?
That is
very very
sad.
Does
anything
make you
happy?
She's like,
"Well
actually,
I just
saved a
lot of
money
when I
switched
to Geico."
Genius.

Not Brown Enough

One day
she saw
this lady
walk into
a tanning
salon.
"Where's
that lady
going?"
she says.
"She's
gonna
get a
stinkin'
tan", I
tell her.
She looks
at me and
says, "You
telling me
she's
gonna
pay the
store to
make her
brown?
That's
mental."
Oh really.
Well, what
do we
have here?
My little
Namaile's
getting a
stinkin'
tan.
Is that
mental too?
Oh, that's
right....I forgot.
She's a genius.

This Meat Tastes Spicy!

OK, this is
kind of sad.
But right
now she
likes to
put any
kine stuff
in her
mouth.
This comes
in handy
later.
Maybe
one day
grandpa got some unusual kind of meat on the barbecue.
Nobody wants to eat it. Why? I think we know why.
But Namaile will eat it. Yah, cuz she puts anykine stuff
in her mouth.
"Hey Grandpa! This meat tastes spicy."
Yeah, dog meat can get spicy.

No Rabbit Ears for Namaile

Here's
Uncle
Jason's
head.
Perfect
opportunity
for Namaile
to put the
rabbit
ears.
He's just
asking
for it.
But she
doesn't do it. Why? Because rabbit ears is stupid.
Whenever Namaile sees somebody do rabbit ears,
she's like, "Hey Knucklehead! Put those fingers back
in your nose where they came from."

What? No More Lotion?

You can't
really tell
from this
picture
but my
Namaile's
skin is
perfect.
Actually
ALL
babies
have
perfect
skin.
Now on the other hand, check out grandpa's legs.
All bust up. Got bruises and scars and discolorations
and Ash on the knees. Namaile is like, "Hey Grandpa!
What? No more lotion? Your legs is grossing me out."

HEY Knucklehead! Your Flab is Sticking Out!

She's
posing on
the stairs.
She got
on her
sassy
Reebok
outfit.
It's sad
cuz it's
only gonna
fit her
for just
a couple
more
weeks.
She better
not be
wearing
stuff that
don't fit.
Yeah, I
see a lot of
people do
stuff like
that.
You can
see their
cellulite
hanging
out of their
pants.
What does
Namaile
say when
she sees
that?
"HEY!
Knucklehead
Your flab is
hanging out!
Wear some-
thing that fits! Are you mental?"
Genius

Aunty Lizelle

Aunty Lizelle
is hanging out
with my little
Jekyll and
Hyde.
Namaile is
acting like a
knucklehead
cuz she don't
like the
camera in
her face.
Aunty
Lizelle
says,
"Namaile,
how come
you gotta
act mental?"
And my little
princess
goes,
"PHRRTTT!"
Yeah, what
did I say?
Genius.

Aunty Candace

Aunty Candace
loves my little
Namaile.
Uh-oh....
Wha-Happend?
Aunty Candace
is on top of
a piano now.
She's not
singing....
she's just
pretend-
singing.
She doesn't
even have a
microphone.
She's just
pretending
to be holding
one.
Uh-oh.....
Now what?
Uncle Troy
is playing
the piano.

Grandpa Gil

Namaile is only 1/8
Ilocano. But Grandpa
Gil is an FBI. That's
what Filipinos call
Full Blooded Ilocano.
When he was dating
his wife Lisa, he'd
say stuff like,
"My Lob por you is
more strong dan dee
bull-doe-sir."
"My Lob por you is
more long dan deee
tele-pone why air".
"Ip you marry me, I like.
I um de lobber boy prom Ilocos,
I will geeb you kalamungay and pinakbet."
NOOOOOOoooooooooooooo............

Ka-Ray-Zee Chair

Look at this Crazy Chair.
When she sits in it, it
makes her laugh like a
crazy girl.
It's got these 2 crazy
bears on the sides -
That's right - Them
bears are CRAZY!
Look at the bar she's
holding on to. It's all
wacky and crazy. It's
not straight -
It's KOO-RAZY!
And what about the
way it makes her legs
all contorted?
It's KA-RAY-ZEE!!
Look at the sofa behind
her. It's all tilted. This picture's all crooked.
What's up with that? Oh that's right, KA-RAH-HAY-ZEE.

Sleepy Time Beddy Bye Happy Place

This is

when

she's

in her

Happy

Place.

Sleepy-time

Beddy-bye

Happy-

Place.

Grandpa's

Happy

Place is called "Sleepy-Time

Just-Ate-2-Costco-Hotdogs-And

-2-Costco-Ice-Cream-with-Almonds-Happy-Place".

Grandma Marcialani

Grandma
Marcialani
likes to
carry
Namaile.
Don't drop
her, OK?
Hello!!!
Marcialani
likes to use
the word
"Hello" in
a sarcastic way.
For example, if you didn't know
something, she would say, "Hello! Dingding."
If you couldn't find something, she would find it
then hold it in front of your face and say, "Hello! It's right here."
Irritating yah?

Nemo?....I Don't Think So

So we show

our little

genius the

aquarium

and I say,

"Look,

it's Nemo."

And she's

like,

"Well

actually, it's

not Nemo. He was just a cartoon character

in a movie. What we have here are two

Amphiprion Ocellaris, which are commonly known

as Clownfish. But I appreciate you trying to talk "down"

to my level, Grandpa."

Huh?

Genius in my Jacket

It's cool to have a
granddaughter cuz
you can do stuff like
put her in your jacket.
People come up to me
and say stuff like,
"Hey, that's cool. You
got a baby in your jacket."
Excuze meee?
"Baby in my jacket?
Is that all I got?
A 'baby' in my jacket?
I don't think so
you knucklead.
I got Namaile, the
prettiest baby in the
world in my jacket."

That's Not Even a Tuning Fork

So she's
checking
out her
grandpa
playing
the piano.
I think
I was
playing
something
really
difficult.
Anyway, I play this note and she's like,
"Hey, that high A is a little off."
So I check it with my tuning fork and guess what?
She's right. Now how many 7 month old kids would know that?
And then she goes, "By the way grandpa, that's a kitchen fork."
Genius

8 Hours Old

So it's
around
noon that
same day
and this
is how
she looks.
Kind of
got the
newborn
mis-shapen
head thing
going. It
eventually goes away and turns normal shaped.
But for a while, it's kind of shaped like a football.
Got a little overbite thing going.
Except...........she got no teeth.
Eventually, they get teeth.
So that's about it right at this moment...
football shaped head, overbite, and no teeth.
Other than that, perfect in every way.

Uncle Damian's Ear Thing

She's just
1 hour old
in this
picture.
But you
see that
thing in
her uncle's
ear? It's
his phone.
So he's
like,
"You're

so beautiful. I'm gonna buy you all kinds of stuff.
Whatever you want, you just tell me. I'm gonna
take you everywhere too. Where you wanna go?
C'mon, let's go right now"
And Namaile says, "I wanna go to Disneyland."
Then uncle says, "What? No little girl, I wasn't talking
to you. I was talking to somebody else on my ear thing."
I hate people with ear things.

6 Pounds 2.2 Ounces

She cracks

me up. I

remember

when I

took this

picture,

she was,

"What?

6.2 lbs.?

Hey, is

this

calibrated

correctly? Are you putting your hand on it? This thing isn't

level. It works better if it's on a level floor. Is there carpet

under this thing? If it is, you gotta subtract a couple ounces.

Did you scrub off all of the cheese on my body? That's a few

ounces. C'mon, give me a break. I know I'm under 6 pounds."

It's an Out-eee

So check
this out.
Her dad
has these
scissors in
his hands.
And the
doctor is
like, "Go
ahead.
You can
cut it."
What?
You're gonna cut what?
Oh, the umbilical cord? Yah, that's cool...go ahead...Hey wait a minute.
Don't cut the wrong thing. Remember Dan Ackroyd doing Julia Childs?
"And don't forget the giblets. Oh, I'm starting to get dizzy..."

Grandma Debbie

Grandma
Debbie is
another
Magpiong
girl. She's
also a rock
climber.
She likes
to go climb
rocks that
most guys
would run
away from.
Namaile is gonna be something like that.
She's gonna be a rock thrower.
Yah, if any guy makes a move on her
she's gonna throw a rock at his knucklehead.
So fellas of the future, don't even think about it.

She Likes to Cook

One of her
favorite
hobbies is
cooking.
Of course,
she's not
able to
reach the
stove yet
so she uses
her dad to
do stuff
for her.
She's like, "Hey, not too much spices.
You want us to get high blood or something?"
Or "Flip it.......................NOW!"
or "Yah, Rachel Ray's a knucklehead."
"Yah, and Harry Kojima's a knucklehead too."
Genius

Namaile's First Game

I'm a little

upset. Her

first game

was a

HOCKEY

game. It

wasn't

an NBA

game. Not a

Raiders game.

Not Mariners

baseball.

Not even

a stinkin' soccer game.

Oh well. A hockey game is

still better than my first game.

I think it was a cockfight in Waipahu.

We ate the loser.

Nurse Nee-Cee

Actually
Janiece
is one of
her aunts.
But she
likes to
wear
nurse's
outfits.
She's a
size zero.
What?
That's right. Crazy huh? Size ZERO.
She can shop in the kid's section.
I wonder what's gonna happen to my little genius.
Is she gonna be a size zero too?
I doubt that.
How do I know?
Don't ask.

Uncle Troy

Here's
Uncle Troy.
One of the
best is
when you
get to lie
down
next to
Namaile.
You have
to be
careful
not to
wake her
up cuz
somebody will get mad if she wakes up.
"Hey, why'd you wake her up? Now we
cannot do this or we cannot do that. We
gotta watch her now."
Chillax, home skillet.
Grandpa will watch her.
"C'mon Namaile, let's go for a walk in your stroller."
Yah, being a grandpa......................priceless.

Grandpa Tucker

Here's Grandpa Tucker. Whenever we party and kanikapila
he sings the LOUDEST.
He no shame. That's good cuz that makes everybody else sing.
But look at Namaile's face.
She's thinking, "Hey, isn't this the grandpa that sings loud?"
"Louder than Celine Dion?"she asks.
No little girl.
Not THAT loud.

Aunty Jenny

Aunty
Jenny's
favorite
singer is
Andy Gibb.
She's like,
"He's a good
singer."
Yah right.
"He's a good
dancer."
O-kaaaaay.
One day
Namaile is gonna say, "Grandpa, buy this CD."
"Why? What's so good about this guy?" I'll say.
"He's a good singer. He's a good dancer."
Yah, right. Where'd you learn that from?
Aunty Jenny.

"You Call This Sand?"

She can tell
the difference
between
Mainland
beaches and
Hawaii
beaches.
She says
things like,
"Hey, how
come the
water is so
cold?"
"Where's the waves?"
"I'm hungry, let's go Zippy's. What? No Zippy's?"
"You call this sand?"
Genius

Hakuna Matata

Here's Namaile's

mom, great-gramma,

and grandpa. Twenty

eight years ago, I was

holding Namaile's

mom just like this.

Now I'm holding her daughter.

It's just like the movie "Lion King."

Simba told King Mufasa, "Hey Knucklehead,

I'm gonna marry your daughter Nala."

Then King Mufasa starts talking but he

sounds like Darth Vader, "You must come

to the dark side.....(Breathing sounds)."

Then Princess Leia says, "Help us Obi-wan,

you're our only hope."

Then Elton John sings "Circle of Life".

Yah, that's what holding Namaile is like.

Napping on Uncle Andrew

When a baby
is napping on
your stomach,
it's like when
a cat is napping
on your stomach.
Same thing.
You just gotta
wait till they
wake up.
It don't matter
if there's an
earthquake.
It don't matter
if there's a fire.
It don't matter
if someone says,
"Hey, Celine Dion is at the front door. She wants
to know if she can come in the house and sing."
Wait a minute......did somebody say "CELINE DION?"
Here, hold this, I gotta answer the door.

Bookbooks and Black Dog

Check out
this stupid
dog....He's
sniffing my
little baby.
"Hey!
Dumb Dog.
That's not
a hydrant.
Don't even
think about
it. I'll have
you in a
pot of
boiling
water so
fast. Then I'm gonna shave off your
stinkin' dog hair. Put some sauce all
over you and stick an apple in your
mouth. You want some of that?
What? What?? What???

Time To Wear Crazy Hats

Yes, she is
a genius,
but she
cannot
control
what her
mom puts
on her
head.
People
like to
look at
her and
say, "Oh, what a cute hat....."
But what they are really thinking is,
"What kind of knucklehead hat is that?"
Well, Namaile just says, "Oh, thank you."
But what she's really thinking is, "Hey,
look in the mirror. There's a giant melon
on top of your shoulders wearing a wig."

Four Generations

Here is

Namaile's

grandma,

great

grandma,

and mom.

Guess how

many shots

it took to

get this

picture.

If you

said 48, you are correct. Look at Namaile's face.

She's thinking, "Nuff already. Where's the food?"

Grandma Joy

Namaile's
grandpa's
brother's
wife is
Grandma
Joy. She
likes to tell
Namaile
about
Okinawa.
She's like,
"You know
Namaile,

the Okinawans are the Ilocanos of Japan."
She doesn't quite get the analogy.
So Grandma Joy says, "Okinawans to Japan is like
Ilocanos to the Philippines."
This is Namaile's first conundrum.
And in this family, there'll be many more.

She Likes Her Thumb

One time

when I was

walking in

Seattle, I saw

this twenty-

something

year old guy

walking

around with

a pacifier in

his mouth.

I didn't say

anything, I just laughed.

If Namaile was there, she would probably say,

"Hey Knucklehead! Are you RETARDED?"

Whoa....................slow down on the Red Bull little girl.

She Cracks Me Up

She likes

to tell

jokes.

She just

told me

the one

about the

blonde

speeder.

The cop

pulled her

over, but

the cop was

a blond too. So the cop asks the blond

driver for her license. Naturally, the

blond driver pulls out a mirror and shows

it to the cop.

So the blond cop says, "Hey, why didn't you

tell me you were a cop?"

Namaile cracks me up.

Glamorous Aunty Mahina

It's not easy

being

beautiful.

You gotta

put your

hair in

curlers.

Then you

gotta put

all kinds of

exfoliating

products

like Biore

and stuff like that.

Then you gotta go stand in front of a waterfall and practice your

posing. But not Namaile.

She's naturally beautiful, so she don't need no stinkin' products.

And she don't need no stinkin' waterfall.

Singing with Uncle Andrew

Yeah, she's

a singer.

She writes

her own

stuff too.

She's

always

telling her

uncle to

drop a

beat.

She's like,

"Two loced

out G's going crazy, Death Row is the label that paaaaaaaaayyyys me."

She says one day she's gonna be on the televizzle.

Genius, ya know what I'm sayin'?

Namaile at SeaWorld

These 2 ugly fish came up to her
asking for food. "Hey little girl,
give us some food" they say.
Namaile can't stand fish like that.
So she tells 'em, "I left a snickers bar in the water for you."
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha. It really wasn't a snickers bar.
"...And by the way, I left a couple of Almond Rochas too."

She Loves Grandpa the MOST

As Right
all you
knuckle-
heads
out there.
Don't even
think that
she loves
you the most
cuz she don't.
You just
wish she
did.
Here's my list of reasons why she loves me the most.
1. I was there
2. You weren't there
3. She always says, "I love grandpa the MOST!"
So that just about covers it.

Grandma Marleen

Here's one

more of

Namaile's

grandmas.

Her name is

Grandma

Marleen.

She's cool

but she has

Obsessive

Scrapbook

Disorder.

She used to make scrapbooks

with University of Hawaii sports

and the statistics. That's cool.

But she also used to have a scrapbook

with Sunday Comix - Prince Valiant.

What's up with that?

Please don't rub that off on the baby.

Myrne That Knows, Myrne That Grows

This is one

more of

Namaile's

Grandmas.

Her name

is Grandma

Myrna.

For some

reason,

whenever

Namaile

sees her,

she starts

singing this

song (to the tune of Edelweiss)

"Myrne that knows, Myrne that grows.

Myrne that knows, Myrne that grows."

I ask her, "What's up with that song?"

She says it comes from Here. And she

points to her heart.

Are you feelin' me?