Good Cover....Bad Covers

"Grandpa, check it out....I'm standing in front of a Sgt. Pepper cover.
What do you think, you old Visayan idiot?Is this the best cover ever?"
"Ummm, probably one of the best I suppose...of all the Beatles covers
....I always thought Abbey Road had the best cover. Meet the Beatles
was a close second....when I was a small kid, I used to draw the Meet
the Beatles cover all the time when I'd be doodling."
"Grandpa, I thought you just read magazines when you're doodling."
"Ummmm....the OTHER kind of doodling.....Speaking of doodling...
check out these NOT so cool album covers...."

http://www.coverbrowser.com/covers/worst-album-covers

NBA Playoffs II

"Grandpa, check out this cool park thing...it's all twisted."
"Yes, my little blueberry muffin, it's all twisted, but not
as twisted as what I've been seeing in the NBA Playoffs.
First you got Craig Sager's outfits...I'm pretty sure he's
Ilocano....Then you got every NBA player CRYING after
every play...."REF! I GOT FOULED!" or "REF! WAAAH
WAAAH! WAAAH!".... then you got Ben Wallace with his
little beard in a rubberband... but the most twisted is the
Burger King commercial with their creepy "King" taking
a guy's Burger King Glasses and then the guy says, 'Why
don't you take my girlfriend while you're at it." and then
they do."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbZmQ8S1mbc&feature=PlayList&p=133F7B59324A7784&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=66

"Eh Blalah - No Ack!"

"Grandpa, what
does it mean if a
local says, 'Eh,
blalah...no ack!'"
"Well my little
butta mochi, if
a local person
tells you , 'Eh,
blalah...no ack!'
that means that
you should stop
doing whatever
you're doing cuz
you're an idiot."
"Oh...okay...."
"It also refers
to people who
actually can't act
....that would be
Vincent D'onofreak,
Keanu Gay Reeves,
Jean Claude Mahu,
Steven Sagala-gala and his ponytail,
and the worst of all time - Gayvid Caruso."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glvGfQnx3DI

Whatever

"Grandpa,
check it out
...I'm at this
cool park
thingy and
it's cool."
"Yeah.....
whatever."
"Grandpa,
you old and
retarded
orangatang,
what does
it mean if
somebody says, 'Whatever'?"
"Um.... when somebody says 'whatever'... it could either
mean they're bored with you or they think you're mental
or they are retarded or they don't understand you or they
it doesn't matter to them, they could go either way or they
don't have an intelligent answer to your question."
"I still don't know what that means."
"Okay.... ask me something."
"Grandpa, nowadays you eat oatmeal every morning...and
when you were a small kid, Lola made you oatmeal every
morning... but between the ages of 18 and 52 you ate anykine
crap, like donuts and bacon and butter and chicharon and
Cap'n Crunch and fried fat and ice cream and fried ice cream
and garlic fried rice with salty Tuyo and 2 fried eggs....
so my question is: What's up with that scenario?"
"Ummm..........whatever."
"OOooooooohhhhhhhhhhh........I get it now."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xz7_3n7xyDg

Eight Months till Next January - Boom Boom POW!

"Grandpa,
check it out
........I got a
knife in my
hand and I'm
pretending
that it's a
microphone.
Do you think
that I look
like an idiot?"
"Well, actually
my little ham
bone...here's
a list of idiots
for you:
Rod Stewart,
Cyndi Lauper,
Lionel Ritchie,
Steve Martin
(why was he
playing that
banjo?), KISS
(old guys wearing make-up and leather), Carlos Santana
(why?), David Cook (rogaine now), Tatiana and Bikini girl.
Megan Joy the tatoo girl is a knucklehead. If I hear Fergie
sing 'Big girls don't cry' with that 'La La La La' intro, I will
hurl. And of course, the guyliner mahu when he was wearing
a leather jacket with Lady Gaga shoulder crap. And then at
the end after they announced that Kris won, the knucklehead
Borinky kept standing next to him so that he could have his
face on the TV. What a fruitcake."
"Soooooooooo..... you watched the whole thing?"
"Watched it? I teevo'd it so me and Grammy can watch it
again...................I know...........................I'm old and stupid."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iokfhX6v7kU

NBA PLAYOFFS!!!

"Grandpa,
check it out
.....I'm just
chillaxing,
watching a
little NBA
playoffs...
Grandpa,
what'dyou
think about
da Playoffs?"
"Well....it's
a little bit
weird how
apparently in Korea, there are giant mice that drive
their cars... and drunken Heineken beer drinkers and
their taxi drivers like to sing Biz Markie songs....and
I guess there are little people under the carseats."
"Grandpa, I was talking about the GAMES!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejfUvlTjj-U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jqZTJk30qg

Baby Aunty

"Grandpa,
did you hear
about the
66 year old
British lady?
She's hapai."
"Are you
thinking
what I'm
thinking?"
"Yup yup...
So how old
is Grammy
anyway?"
"Well my little triscuit, she says that she's 39."
"Well, if she's 39...that means that she was only
9 when my mommy was born."
"Great beard of Jebadiah! Another miracle!"
"Grandpa, if Grammy has a baby, she'll be younger
than me...but I gotta call her Aunty."
"Yeah, you can call her Baby Aunty."
"Yeah .... Grandpa, is Aunty Mahina gonna babysit
Baby Aunty all the time? Can I babysit Baby Aunty too?"
"Baby Aunty? Ha Ha Ha.....that's funny..............or is it?"

(..................to be continued..........................)

"Grandpa, Bookbook TV Made My Face This Way"

"Grandpa,
look at my
mental face
......do you
like it?"
"Ummmm
...yeah? It
reminds me
of the kind
of faces that
yer Grammy
makes when
I ask her if
I can have a
massage....it's the exact same face...exactly."
"Grandpa, where else do you see this same face?"
"It's the same face that I make when I watch some
of the TV shows on TFC....like Pinoy Bingo Night.
Kris Aquino is the ding dong that asks the most
stupidest questions to contestants....she's mental.
And then there's the show 'Kambal sa Uma'. It's a
story of twin girls who unfortunately have rodent
features cuz their mom lived on a farm and would
occasionally eat rats...which of course resulted in
her twin girls having rat ears and rat tails......but
one rat girl is prettier and less rattier than the other,
kind of like the Kardashian girls."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkaQp75Ba8M

The Artist Currently Known as Namaile

"Grandpa,
check it out
.......I drew
this cool
picture on
my drawing
thing. It's a
picture of
you....look...
the face is
mishapen,
bad haircut,
and the hair
is gray."
"Oooohhhh
...mmmmm
...that's nice.
I like your
toy. It looks
like you just
gotta slide
that button
and it will
erase the
picture.....
when I was
a small kid,
I think I had
something like that....it was called 'Etch-a-Sketch'.
It was good for drawing stairs. When you didn't like
your stairs, you just shook it then drew another one.
I wasn't quite as good as Will Ferrel in 'Elf'."
"Grandpa, drawing is hard. I have a hard time doing
the nose. So I just didn't draw one for your face."
"Oh that's okay...it's really not that hard. Just make
a letter "L". Of course, that's for a normal nose. If
you had to draw Michael Jackson's nose...you just
gotta draw two little dots."

http://stupidandold.blogspot.com/2007/12/12-27-07.html

In Namaile's Eyes

"And when she wraps her hand around my finger,
Oh it puts a smile in my heart..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLS0Y40WwlA

Fun With Fingers

"Grandpa, making faces is fun yeah?"
"Pretty much...it's right up there with flatulating,
listening to anything Randy Jackson has to say,
and watching Wowowee when Willie tries to make
people cry."

"Stuff For Guys That Are Manly and Tough..."

"Grandpa,
what's more
scarier.......
A Circque de
Soleil Clown,
your wife at
Goodwill.....
The Burger
King King....
Matt Gokey's
scream at the
end of Dream
On.............
or a cop right
behind you when you look in the rear view mirror?"
"Well my little bowl of cheerios, the Circque Clown is
no problem...I just change the channel, cuz I wouldn't
pay to watch it in Vegas .... Same thing with the Burger
King King and Matt Gokey...by the way, you just said
King King on this blog....the cop behind me as I'm driving
my 2000 Toyota Sienna is no problem cuz...c'mon, it's a
gray haired guy in a Sienna..... but your Grammy at
Willys?...... Scaaaary......Oops I just eeheed my pantalon."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TX-KOhBlAhk

Over the Rainbow

"Grandpa, look....I'm a bookbook and I got a microphone in my hand."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IN5afcbOktU

"Could You Hand Me One of Those Spatulas?"

"Grandpa, you know any good jokes?"
"Well, actually....these aren't that funny....but here goes....
Once upon a time there was a Grammy, and she said that
she's not coming home this weekend cuz she's gonna help
somebody have a garage sale in Portland...is that funny?
Here's another one....once upon a time there was an uncle
who was at work and he called his sister and asked her if
she could deliver some gum to him.....is that funny?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bJkB4jwwmE

Vinegar On Daisies

"Grandpa,
what do you
call these
flowers?"
"Oh...them?
Those are
daisies....
they're nice
and pretty."
"Grandpa,
how come
they don't
smell? They
just smell
like air....I thought flowers have smells to them."
"Well, my little cheeze curl, some daisies have no
smell and other daisies actually smell a little foul."
"Grandpa, what's up with that? Flowers should
have a nice smell... Like plumerias...they smell good."
"Well most flowers smell good so that pollinators
will be attracted to it and spread it's seed. It's kind
of like how armpits can smell bad which turns off
potential suitors..........but opposite. You get it?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyTn_m4oMww

Sponge Namaile ~ Square Grandpa

"Grandpa, do you like to watch Sponge Bob?"
"Ummm....Yeah...he's a sponge right? And
he lives underwater right? And he's a talking
sponge right? And sometimes he gets a drink
from a glass while he's underwater right? And
his friend Patrick is a starfish right? And this
is a talking starfish right? That show?"
"Yeah...that one. I like it cuz it makes me
wanna jump all over the living room furniture."

My Girls

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltRwmgYEUr8

Boom Tarat Tarat

"Grandpa,
check it out
......my dad
is bonding
with me by
eating some
goldfish.....
this is fun."
"Yeah, well
sometimes
I feel sad
cuz a long
long time
ago, your
mom promised me that she would never marry and she'd
live with me and Grammy forever...but then again, I'm pretty
happy cuz now you're born and I love you so much....it's
just the circle of life..........you know...........'Hakuna matata'."
"Grandpa, have you actually ever seen the movie 'Lion King'?
Cuz 'Hakuna Matata' doesn't mean 'Circle of Life'... that was
just an Elton John song.......'Hakuna Matata' is Swahili for
'No Worries' or 'No Problem'.... so....anyway....I was just
wondering cuz you said, 'That's the circle of life, Hakuna
Matata.' You really should get your facts down, you know?"
"Oh wow.......harsh...."
"Well Grandpa, what would you think if I said, "Grandpa,
you're retarded ~Maui no ka oi..........or Grandpa, you're a
gigantic retard ~ Boom Tarat Tarat.....you see what I mean?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUso-0YOeyA

Father and Daughter

"Grandpa,
check it out
...this is my
daddy...his
name's Ken
and I guess
he married
your baby."
"Yeah, he's
a good dad.
He likes to
kiss you."
"How about
you Grand
fool? What
kind of a dad were you? Were you a good daddy too?"
"Ummm...I'm not sure about that...I used to forget
them everywhere, and find 'em a couple of days later.
When your Grammy had to work or be somewhere
else...I wouldn't dress 'em 'appropriately'....We didn't
have a lot of cash back then, so I had to feed 'em WIC
food...which was basically Gubmint cheese, powdered
milk and luncheon meat. We moved around a lot......
one year we moved 5 times....and I used to like to take
them to Sears and go up to a mannequin and tell 'em
to kiss their Aunty. I figured, 'Hey, it could be...??'"
"Grandpa, who'd you do that to the most?"
"Uncle Damian."
"Ohhh....well that explains a lot."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nSmgsPZN1k

Okinawa Meets Ilocos Norte (1/8 Only)

"Grandpa,
check it out
...we stay in
Hawaii Kai
area. Didn't
you used to
say all the
'Townies'
come from
this side?"
"Yeah, we
also called
it the 'No
Bookbook Zone', cuz hardly any books over there. I can
see that you're hanging out with Lola and the Japanee
Lola...that's Grandpa Dan's mother-in-law....she's not
just Japanee...she's Okinawan. I like her shirt...you gotta
zoom but it says 'I (heart) Maui' but you gotta look real
close cuz you can hardly see the red heart on the red
shirt so it almost looks like it says, 'I Maui'.....You know
what they say about Okinawans, little girl?"
"No Grandpa, what do they say?"
"Well, they call the Okinawans the 'Ilocanos of Japan'...
.................and they like guitars and Beatles............
....which makes them okay with me."

(random Japanee music)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBe2qAz_jtc&feature=related

Yummy Play-Doh Larva.....MMMMMM!

"Little girl,
what are you
doing over
there with
scissors and
play-doh?"
"Grandpa,
I'm making
giant African
larva....look,
here's the
baby larva,
and here's
the daddy
larva .....and
here's the
mama larva
........what do
you think?"
"Ummm....
why are you
making larva?
Why not cut
spaghetti or
some lechon
kawali.......or
some Pinakbet
...or maybe a
bunch of fried
calamari?......What's the big deal about Giant African larva?"
"Grandpa, did you say what's the big deal about larva? Man...
you crack me up. Check it out...larva is gourmet food, brah..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuB3kr3ckYE