She Didn't Really Say This

"Namaile, what's in your hand?"
"A worm."
"What are you doing with it?"
"I'm holding it."
"Why don't you eat it?"
"I already ate 20 of 'em. I'm full now. How about a beer?"

You Can Close Your Eyes

"Grandpa, what's better? Holding a cat? or holding a baby?"
"Well, we used to have a cat... his name was Hauoli... we had
him when we lived in Brown's Point in Washington... and when
Hauoli would lay on my stomach, I couldn't move until he got
off. That's retarded, I know. I might be late for work or late
for something, but people would have to wait cuz Hauoli was
on my stomach. So that's the same thing with babies.... you
pretty much can't do nothing till that baby wakes up...
cuz all you want to do is look at her and let her hear your
heart beat as you hold her... and then sing her a song real
softly, like 'A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes' or 'Over
the Rainbow' or some James Taylor song. Eventually the
baby grows up and will sing the 'sleeping song' himself.
That's something that cats can't do."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_D0i7UC9UY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVrRpNBosJQ

Cool Pics

"Grandpa, I'm throwing stuff at some rusty barrels and
I'm holding these fake picture frames with my hand making
like the number 3."
"What a coincidence... when I was a young boy, way way way
back in the 1900's, I used to throw stuff at rusty barrels and
hold 3 fingers up all the time.... either that or I was dreaming."
"Grandpa, what makes a picture interesting?"
"Well, my little haole girl, I think a picture is interesting if there
is some nice color to it. I think a picture is interesting if there's
something unexpected, unusual or funny in it."
"Grandpa, when I get older, will you buy me a camera?
Cuz if you do, I want to take pictures that are unexpected,
and pictures that are unusual and pictures that are funny."
"Will I buy you a camera? I will buy you the moon.
And I will purchase the stars for you, my little Namaile."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGmdoOP7E24

Dufe Ding Head

"Grandpa, who are
these knuckleheads?"
"Oh....those are like
famous people and
stuff."
"Grandpa, I just
got two questions....
1. Who's the prettiest
Kardashian? Kim?"
"No, it's Courtney."
"Grandpa, here's
question # 2:
Is Lindsay Lohan a
Dufus, a Ding Dong,
or a Knucklehead?"
"Well she would be
a combination of the
three... I think that
the word is probably
'Dufe-Ding-Head'."
"Grandpa, you're the smartest Grandpa in the world."
"Yes, that's true."

Teaching Naialii How to Play

"Grandpa,
check it out,
Naialii is so
junk right
now cuz she
don't know
how to play
and stuff."
"Oh, that's
cool.....you
just gotta
teach her
some games
... here's a
fun game
that I used
to play with
your mom
and your
uncles....it's
called 'Grab
Some Stuff
and Put It
On their fat
Tummies.'
Let's start
with stuff
that your
Grammy
likes to eat.
Go get some
bacon....
there you
go... Now go
and get a
banana.....
Now you're
getting the
hang of it...
Now go get
some sweet
JW Black....
Yeah, now
you're really rolling with it.... Ain't this fun???"
"Grandpa, I don't think that Naialii is really getting this..."
"Nah, check it out...look at her face...she's all into it."
"Thanks Grandpa for teaching me cool stuff."
"That's what I do."

Charley and Lola

"Grandpa, I like to watch Charley and Lola on TV."
"Yeah, well that's cool. But when I was a kid, there
was no way I could have a TV in my room."
"Grandpa, what? Were you guys Nazis? Did you live
in Communist China? Did you have outdoor plumbing?"
"No, it was just the rich kids that had TVs in their room.
We had one TV in our house and it had a giant doily on it
with rabbit ears antenna and aluminum foil. We watched
rich Haole families on TV that wore suits and ties in the
house. The only bookbooks on TV was Faustino Respicio
and Filipino Fiesta."
"Wow Grandpa, now I know why you're mental."

"Hey Knuckleheads! Gimme Something to Drink!"