"Namaile Sings ONE Song"

"Well, what do you think Paula?"

"Oh my, I never had to write things down before....

where's my stinkin' index cards? Oh here it is...

Well Namaile's first song was perfect, she has her Grandpa's voice.

But her second song left me a little empty."

"Um Paula, do you mean your head is empty?"

"Um...Yes...my head is empty...what? Namaile didn't sing 2 songs?

What the? La Cucaracha! Ay Poppy! Mi Gente comen peros!"

3 Most Irritating Things

"Grandpa,
how many
squares are
you sposed
to use?"
"Well my
little bagoong
musubi, it's
prolly a good
idea to do
what Sheryl
Crow says...
1 square for
most stuff,
and 2 or 3
for those other times. Of course, she's mental."
"Grandpa, what are the 3 most irritating things
in the world?"
"Well, my little mochi chicken wing, for me I think
the 3 most irritating things would be
1. The Idol mosh pit when they do the arm sway.
2. Letterman's audience when they'd applaud every joke.
3. Celine Dion
How about you little girl? What's your 3 most irritating?"
1. People talking to me when I'm on the toilet.
2. People taking pictures of me when I'm on the toilet.
3. People taking videos of me when I'm on the toilet."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Grandpa,
do you like
to watch
Go Yabba
Yabba?"
"Um......I
don't know.
Do you like
to wear
Daisydukes?"
"What's a
Daisyduke?"
"Normally,
it would be
shorts cut so high that you can see butt. And I do
believe I can see butt. Or okole maluna."
"Old man, why do they call them Daisydukes?"
"Well that's cuz there used to be a girl on a show
called the Dukes of Hazard and her name was
Daisy and you can see her dukes cuz her shorts
were cut so high. You know.... your Grandma used
to wear Daisydukes......"

Actually, Ours Is More Like Bike Racks

"Grandpa,
watch me
throw this
rock."
"Whoaaa
little girl,
are you a
plumber?"
"No"
"I'm just
checking.
Well, do
you wanna
be a plumber?"
"No, why do you keep asking?"
"Well, you got quite the butt crack. I just assumed
you were a plumber."
"Grandpa, you Visayan Orangatang, not only
plumbers got butt cracks. When you and Grandma
bend over you guys prolly got butt cracks too."

Barbizon....Class of '74

"Grandpa!
What choo
think about
these cool
glasses?"
"Yeah, well
the glasses
are cool but
I gotta tell
you about
something.
Whenever
you got your
mouth open,
it makes you
look like a knucklehead. Are you trying to catch flies?"
"Well actually, my mouth is open cuz I'm eating and
I gotta chew with my mouth open to enjoy it better."
"Well my little chocolate covered gummy bear, you
should be eating with your mouth closed. Cuz when you
chew with your mouth open, your food might fall out and
you gross people out when they see your food getting
crushed and they hear that smacking sound."
"Wow Grandpa, you're smarter than you look. Where did
you learn all of this?"

Yup...That's What Your Grandma Does

"Grandpa,
check out
this cool
Nintendo
stuff...if you
push this
button then
the guy goes
to the left
and if you
push the
other button
then the
guy goes to
the right....
and then if
you pull the
joystick then
the guy will
jump up and
if you push
the joystick
then the guy
flies and if
you shake
the joystick
round and
round then
the guy will jump up and down and fly and
run around in circles and goes and stops and
everything.....cool huh, Grandpa, you old
Filipino Knucklehead?"
"Um...not really....your Grandma does that to me
everyday...all day..."

Where Did She Go? I Miss Her....

Today you
are 21 months
old...I miss
you my sweet
little pumpkin
pie. I miss the
days when u
would have
to be carried
everywhere,
and I miss
the days when
you thought
I was the best
Filipino Idiot in the world... when you thought I was
the funniest and the best singer and the best hugger
and cartoon watching partner in the world. I missed
the days when you were just 4 months old like in this
picture. Pretty soon, you're not even gonna care if I
exist cuz you'll have so many friends and things to do
that you won't even answer my phone calls. Prolly,
you'll just text me once in a while. You'll write crap like,
"luv u" or "miss u lol" or "yo...way my money".
But for now, I'll just look at this picture and remember
when you thought I was not as old or as stupid as I
really am.

All The Books Behind You Want a Crooked Mouth Too

"Hey you old Filipino!
What is symmetry?"
"Well my little dimsum,
symmetry is like when
something something is
equal on the left side
and the right side too."
"Oh da junk...cuz I don't
think my face is really
symmetrical...
I think my right side of
my mouth is a little
longer and a little lower
than the left side of my
mouth. That's junk yah?"
"Junk? No way...that
actually makes you
prettier....you see...any
body can have symmetry.
You can even buy symmetry. But I think your face is perfect.
In music, you can have a consonant or 'in tune' note or notes -
like a chord. But sometimes that can get boring. A dissonant
note could seem out of place to most people. In music, it can
often be unpleasant. But to me, a dissonant note makes the
song unique...that part of the song stands out. Symmetry can
be over-rated. Your mouth is beautiful to me and one day when
you're much much older, your mouth is gonna break a lot of
hearts."

Grandpa, Were You a Brat, Cuz You Look Like One

"Grandpa, aren't you Ilocano?"
"Yup, your Great Grandpa is from Paoay, Ilocos Norte.
His name was Damian. Just like your crazy Uncle Damian.
He played saxaphone and he liked to sing.
But I don't remember his voice cuz it was a long long
long time ago that I heard him. I'm pretty sure he had an
Ilocano accent. He prolly said stuff like, "Dis boy, I tell you,
he look like Spunky prum Litol Ruscol."

Can You Blame Her?

"Hey Old Man!
You ever have
regrets?"
"Yah, well like
today I went to
Costco's and ate
a Costco Hot dog.
Everytime I do
that, I regret it."
"Why is that,
you chewer of
chiwahwahs?"
"Well, that's cuz
a hot dog is not
made up of the best parts of a cow...or a pig. That chewy
feeling you get from a hot dog is prolly from the cow gizards
or whatever. And the enriched white flour made with Yellow
number five blocks up my transverse colon. So...yah, I kind
of regret that."
"Actually, I was thinking of something not involving food or dogs."
"Ok, my little wonderer of things....I regret not having more kids.
I think we should have had one kid for every year I been married."
"How many kids would that be?"
"Um....30 I guess."
"How come you didn't have em den?"
"Cuz, my wife Thelma had issues....yah....uh huh.....she had issues with that."

I Hear Children Laughing In This Place That I Love

"Grandpa,
you know
the song,
"Hawaiian
Lullaby"?"
"Oh yah,
that's Sunday
Manoa, Rob,
Rol, and the
Pake."
"Actually,
he's Korean.
But anyway
you canine
cruncher...the line that says, 'Where I live, there are rainbows.'"
"Yah, well that's cuz in Hawaii, you get rainbows everyday."
"How come get rainbows everyday over there in Hawaii, but
over here in Seattle you hardly see 'em?"
"Oh that's cuz, you need sun and rain to make a rainbow. And
you know in Hawaii, get sun everyday, and occasional rain makes
the pretty rainbows. That's why Hawaii no ka oi."
"So then....what is a Rainbow Warrior?"
"I know...stupid yah?"

"Um...That's Not a Thousand...But It's Close

"Grandpa!
Is it true
when they
say that a
picture is
worth a
thousand
words?"
"Yup yup.
Like...this
picture right
here."
"So...what is
the thousand
words gonna be about?"
"It's gonna be about how you look like trouble.
It's gonna be about how I like the way you dress,
like your cool pants and the way your hair is always
hamajams. It's about how I wonder what kind of
craziness is going on in your head right about now.
Are you thinking about what kind of mischief you gonna
get into? Or are you thinking about the chocolate chip
cookie that you're looking for? It's about me wondering
how fun it will be to watch you grow up and how we're gonna
party now and do stuff...but when you get older and we had
a couple of bottles of wine, we're really gonna tear stuff up.
Right now you have a limited vocabulary but when you're a
big girl, you're gonna be like the rest of your family and make
up words and imitate people and play music and joke and
laugh all day. I'm thinking about how somebody's gonna
break your heart one day...it might be somebody really close...
but I'll make you happy...I promise."

Bright Eyes - First Day Of My Life

This is the first day of my life

I swear I was born right in the doorway

I went out in the rain suddenly everything changed

They're spreading blankets on the beach

Yours is the first face that I saw

I think I was blind before I met you

Now I don’t know where I am I don’t know where I’ve been

But I know where I want to go

And so I thought I’d let you know

that these things take forever

I especially am slow but I realize that I need you

And I wondered if I could come home

Namaile Mine

Baby mine, don't you cry Baby mine, dry your eyes

Rest your head close to my heart Never to part, baby of mine

Little one when you play Don't you mind what you say

Let those eyes sparkle and shine Never a tear, baby of mine

If they knew sweet little you They'd end up loving you too

All those same people who scold you

What they'd give just for The right to hold you

From your head to your toes

You're not much, goodness knows

But you're so precious to me Cute as can be

baby of mine