What's Retarded at Pearl City Starbucks

"Grandpa,
you Filipino
Orangatang,
what have
you found to
be retarded
lately?"
"Well it's a
bit retarded
whenever
my Starbucks
drink costs
over 3 bucks."
"So what do
you drink ...
you old and
wrinkled
has-been?"
"I guess for
the last 5 or
6 years, it's
been the
same old
crap...grande
decaf ameri-
cano with
extra-extra
caramel
sauce (not
syrup) and
a little bit of steamed milk. So that's really mental, yeah?"
"But why do you drink decaf? Isn't that like drinking non-
alcoholic beer? I mean, what's the point, you knucklehead?"
"Well, my little bundle of joy, I just like the taste I guess.
I haven't had caffeine since '94, and if for some reason I
accidently have some, I get these bad bad headaches that
won't go away until the next day...so I just stay away from
the caff. But if they make my cup just right, it's just goes
down really really good...even better with a crumpet. But it
still irks me that it costs so much."
"You should get what my mommy gets me. It's soy mocha
with whipped cream...it's super good...and it picks me up."
"Ha Ha...that's funny... cuz your mommy TELLS you it's
a soy mocha, but actually it's just hot chocolate with whip...
and so really your drink don't even got no caff in it."
"Thanks for the buzzkill Grand-ape. But, guess what I find
retarded? I think it's mental whenever some old guy grabs
my toy baby doggie and pretends like it's eating my crumpet
and then makes doggie sounds. That's pretty lame. Almost
as lame as having Michael Buble-gay sell your product."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRlgc6GA924&feature=PlayList&p=91FBBA43AC7517E2&playnext=1&index=10