Knucklehead Sandwich

"Grandpa,
do you ever
wanna punch
yourself?"
"Do I ever?
Of course I
do, especially
whenever I
say 'do i ever'.
But lately,
I've been in
the mood to
punch myself
whenever I
eat like a pig.
Believe it or
not, your old
Grandpa used
to have a six
pack...but now
I got a keg....
and whenever
I eat like a
pig, I feel like
punching my
self. I'll be like,
'Oh man, I
ain't gonna eat
no junk today',
and then sure
enough, I'll eat
2 orders of
junk and a side
of crap. So that's
the time I'm
bout to give my
face a smack ...
give myself a
little knuckle
sandwich...."
"That's funny
Grandpa."
"What's funny?"
"I was thinking that since you're a knucklehead,
you should actually be giving yourself a knucklehead
sandwich. Dats funny, you Visayan knucklehead."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86IpU3g-S8Q

Another Useless List

"Hey, you old has-been Visayan knucklehead, is there like
an all-purpose phrase that you like to say out of the blue?"
"Well my little pie, there are actually 5 phrases that you can
say anytime for no reason ... and I suppose you would like to
see those 5....
1. "I like _____, it tastes just like chicken."
I used to use this whenever people would look at a dog
or any other food, especially at a buffet.
A similar phrase would be, "It's really good when it's spicy."
That one works really good in a bakery.
2. "Excuse me...I was praying"
This is good if your boss catches you sleeping.
3. "Well, isn't that the cat's meow?"
This works anywhere...anytime.
4. "Well, isn't that the dog's bow-wow?"
Actually, this seldom works... thought I'd just throw it in
- in fairness to dogs.
5. "I'm a little girl and I like fancy things."
It sounds better if you're actually a little girl...but if you
are an old guy...you probably should avoid this one."
"Grandpa, I find this list totally useless."

http://www.funny.co.uk/stuff/art_173-1449-Fun-Things-To-Say-in-a-Public-Restroom.html

Eating Out is Funner

"Grandpa,
why is it so
fun to eat
out?"
"Well, first
of all, eating
out means
that nobody
gotta do no
dishes....
actually,
somebody
does dishes
but it ain't
me. Secondly eating out is good cuz the food always
tastes good... you know sometimes when Thelma
cooks, you gotta pray twice... pray before you eat
and then you gotta pray after you eat. And then,
the most bestest reason why it's funner to eat out,
you get to put more balance on Grandpa's credit card,
putting me deeper and deeper in debt... that's the
cat's meow."
"Grandpa, how bout after when we get to listen to
the street singers? That's fun too yeah?"

Dollar Fish Tacos at Rubio's Every Tuesday

"Grandpa,
do you like
Rubio's on
Tuesdays?
Cuz I do..."
"Do I like
Rubio's on
Tuesday's?
DO I EVER.
Cuz Tuesday
is Dollar
Fish Taco.
That's quite
a bargain...
it comes with
a lime...and
all the salsa
from the
salsa bar that
you want...
The salsa bar
got a pretty
good selection.
It even got
pickled carrots
and all the lime
and lemon you
want. I refuse
to go to Taco
Bell...if you live
in San Diego
and you go to
Taco Bell, my
personal
opinion is that
you're mental.
That would
be like living
by a dog pound
and eating beef
... mental."
"Grandpa, I'm
thinking that your analogy might be a little off. But I see
what you're saying. They even serve beer here yeah?
'Oh waitress, we'd like a couple of Dos Equis'."
"Namaile...that's not a waitress...that's your Grandma."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCDqrpfjxw0

Aunty MahinaLynn

"Grandpa, Aunty Mahina is my mommy's sister, right?"
"Well my little crunchy takuan pickled yellow radish,
yah - she's your mommy's 18 year old little sister.
She's my 'bunso' and your mommy is my 'panganay'."
"Am I ever gonna get a sister? That would be cool."
"Are you gonna have a sister? Well, that kind of depends
on a few things right now ... little trivial things like
is your mommy and daddy mental...stuff like that"
"Ok...but if I had one, what will be her name?"
"Well, if it were up to your Aunty Mahina, a good name
would be something like Waverly.... or Honeygirl ...
maybe some Korean name like Won Bok ...
or anything that ended with Lynn
like Waverlylynn or Lindalyn or WhoopsIkeepfall-lyn."
"Grandpa, make sure Aunty Mahina doesn't name
my sister, okay?"

"Let Me Tell You About Wishes..."

"Grandpa,
check out
this cool
water thing
...it shoots
out water
and stuff.
And there's
a bunch of
coins on the
bottom of
this thing.
What's up
with that
nonsense?"
"Well my
little asker
of questions
...all of them
coins on the
bottom is
from people
makin' wishes
...what they
do is make a
wish and then
throw some
pennies, dimes
or nickels in
there... I think that they think that the wish will come true if
you drop some coins. They're thinking stuff like, 'I wish my
fat will go away' then they throw in a couple of coins then
head over to Mickey Dees and get a couple of Big Macs...
stuff like that....or maybe they'll say, 'I wish my husband
looked like George Clooney' then they'll throw in a couple of
dimes and go home to their husband Fautino Respicio from
Ilocos Norte. Once in a while a guy will say, 'I wish my wife
will give me a massage' and then he'll throw in a few coins...
then he'll go home and say, 'Honey, can I have a massage?'
and his wife will say, 'Shut-up and feed me' or 'Where's my
money?'...she might even say, 'Take me out to Olive Garden
you bookbook idiot'...so I guess you can say that this making
a wish and throwing in coins is just a bunch of crap."
"Thanks for the buzzkill Grandpa."

"Random? Like Random Pictures of Giraffes?"

"Grandpa,
are you ever
at a loss for
words?"
"Yeah, that
can happen...
especially if
you're just a
little kid with
a limited
vocabulary...
or a big kid
with poor word
retention.
You might
try this....
mispronounce
words...I see
you already
do this cuz you
occasionally
refer to me as
'Grand-Ka'.
You might
also consider
swapping your
P's with your
F's...
that's a little
something that my people do.
Here let's give it a try...ask me a question that has
me at a loss for words and notice what I do..."
"Okay...Um...Grandpa...what's the capitol of Burma?"
"Umm...well....ummmm...the capital of Barma?...
.....farking lot...fing fong faddle...
Did you see how I handled that?"
"Yes...you mispronounced Burma and you mixed your Ps and Fs."
"Here's another thing you can do...just answer with something
random... your Uncles and Aunty Mahina does it all the time...
you might as well too....just say stuff that don't make no sense.
Here let's give it a try...ask me something."
"Okay...Um Grandpa...why don't you clean up your mess?"
"Ummm...well...yeah, clean my mess...hmmmm... I'm gonna
rotate my tires... Brother So and So .... fancy pants...
(now make up a few words).... Mep... spilk.... flistum ....
.... cheebus ..... flatulate.....See how easy that is, Namaile?"
"Actually Grandpa, I think 'flatulate' is a real word."
http://www.fourteenminutes.com/fun/words/index.cgi

"Dogs....Food....Same Thing"

"Namaile,
there's a
few rules
I gotta let
you know
about food
...first of all
...food is for
eating...you
shouldn't
kiss your
food...
also, it's not
a good idea
to become
too attached
to your food
...that means
you prolly
shouldn't be
hugging your
food. What
might happen
is that one
day you're
hugging or
kissing your
food...and
next thing you know, it's on a plate with an apple in it's mouth.
And you're gonna be like, 'Hey, what happened to Fluffy?'
Um...Fluffy's got an apple in it's mouth, that's what happened."
"Grandpa, are you talking about food or are you talking
about dogs?"

Boyz to Grandpas

"Grandpa, you're super old yeah?"
"Yeah, I'm a cinquenagarianist."
"Yeah, of the bookbook variety...but, besides your
gray hair, how do you know that you're old?"
"Well yesterday at work, some music from the ninety's came
on...I think it was some Boyz to Men...and this knucklehead
co-worker said, 'Allright! Some old school.'
I'm like thinking, 'What an idiot'....and then I started
thinking again and realized that I'm the idiot cuz that
song is like 15 years old and my co-worker is only 25."
"Boyz to Men?...prolly by now they're Boyz to Grandpas."

Ask Grandpa Stupid Questions....Part VIII

"Grandpa, 2 questions.....why do I suck my thumb and why
don't I use pacifiers?"
"Well, first question, why do you suck your thumb?
The main reason is so that you will have buck teeth.
Most models and beautiful actresses have buck teeth
and so it's natural to want to copy those beautiful people.
Also, when your teeth is buck, you can fit more food in your
mouth...there is more cubic centimeters inside of your face
for the food. Also, buck teeth comes in handy when you're
wanting to elongate your face...kind of like Celine Dion.
Second question, why don't you use pacifiers? Cuz pacifiers
makes you look like a retarded baby.
'Where's my binky? Where's my binky?'
'Your binky? Come here mental baby, let me slap your head.'
Also pacifiers is for lazy mommies who don't want to get you
your food or milk.
'Here baby...suck on this pacifier.'
You retarded mommy....get your baby some milk!
I hope this answers your questions."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0a7jSC4Ti8U

Top 5 Fun Stuffs To Do

"Grandpa, what
are fun stuffs?"
"Well my little
mango mochi
ball, there's a lot
of fun stuffs....
but if I had to
name 5 stuffs
that's fun I guess
it would be these...

1. Playing music
with friends....not
karaoke music...
but real music with
real instruments
and everybody
sings or tries to,
and the people
that play guitar - or
whatever - knows when to play loud and when to play soft.
Having people like Tucker Torigoe or anybody else that don't
give a rip is fun. Watching bookbooks sing karaoke is fun for
awhile, but eventually it gets irritating.

2. Playing basketball with friends....cuz basketball is the
best game ever invented and when it's played right -
nobody hogging the ball and everybody liking a good pass
rather than a good shot...and on those days when I'm in
the zone, it's even better and funner.

3. Eating good food with close friends and family....I think
good choices would be Grand Peking in Federal Way with
Guilaos....Salu Salu at Moreno Valley with Santiagos....and
back yard barbecue with whoever's with us at the time. I
like it best when nobody eats fat and gives me their fat...
I'm ecstatic, my colon is ecstatic and my tapeworm is ecstatic.

4. Watching something funny on TV....K-dramas, SNL,
Comedy Central standup like Brian Regan, The Office,
The Simpsons and old cartoons like Bugs Bunny....not new
cartoons which is junk, generally speaking. It's even funner
when the show isn't supposed to be funny, but it turn out
to be funny for the wrong reason. For example, bad acting
is funny. Stupid dialog is funny. Shows having to use a laff
track for sitcoms because the dialog is so lame is funny....
and of course any diahrrea, IBS or male dysfunction ads
are hilarious.

5. Going down crazy giant slides with a funny little girl....
and watching how much fun she has when she's on it. Then
watching her jump around cuz she's having crazy fun is the
funnest thing ever.

"Grandpa, When I Get Old Will I Be Mental Too?"

"Grandpa,
who's more
crazy...is it
you or your
baby mama?"
"Well my
little head
cabbage kim
chee, your
Grandma's
gotta be the
craziest in
the whole
universe....
check it out...
in her car,
she sets the
time around
10 minutes
ahead of
what the real
time is...like
if it's 8:00,
her car clock
says it's 8:10.
And then if
you tell her
to hurry up
cuz we gonna
be late...she's like, "Ey, no worry li'dat. We get planny time.
The clock is set 10 minutes ahead." So she knows it's 10
minutes ahead. She's looking at the clock and it says it's
8:10 but actually it's 8:00 and she knows it. What kind
of craziness is that? That's mental right?"
"HEY GRANDMA! STOP ACTING MENTAL!!!
HEY OLD LADY! SET THE CLOCK TO THE RIGHT TIME!!!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sILSrOyLpmo&NR=1

Tomato Butts and Dancing Hamsters

"Grandpa,
you like to
eat, yeah?"
"Well, I
think that
eating can
keep your
tapeworms
happy."
"Is there
anything
that you
won't eat,
you old and
shriveled
Ilocano-Visayan knucklehead?"
"I don't particularly care to eat chicken butts or the part
of a fruit that was connected to the tree....take a tomato
for example...when you cut the tomato to make slices, if
you look at where the tomato was connected to the vine,
there's a black round thing that kind of looks like a butthole.
I find that unappealing and not edible...kind of like chicken
butts is not edible...it's where the chicken made doodoo...
on the other hand, I will eat pork butt...maybe because it
tastes so good, and that the fact that it's the pig's butt doesn't
bother me so much...so there you have it. I will eat anything
in the world, except tomato buttholes and chicken butts.
Now while you think about that, enjoy these dancing hamsters."
http://www.webhamster.com/

"No Pho-toe! No Pho-toe!"

"Grandpa, check
it out....I'm a big
girl now...I got my
ill swerve on..."
"Um...ok."
"OK...here I go...
cool car...
Check.
Little Kitty bag...
Check.
Bangs...
Check.
Hair blowing in the
wind but no wind...
Check.
Beamer logo on
aluminum wheels...
Check.
Black boots like Nancy
Sinatra and Jessica "Tuna isn't Chicken that's why Tony Romo
Dumped Me" Simpson....
Check.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9_6onb5sy4

Life On Mars With Grandma

"Grandpa,
check out
your wife,
she's like
holding my
hand so I
don't fall
in the water
here in the
Tacoma
Museum of
Glass."
"Yeah, she's
useful every
once in a
while."
"Grandpa,
if you could
go back in
time, what
would you
do different?
Anything
you'd like
to change?"
"If I could,
I would
have had
20 kids, so that you could have some cousins to hang with.
I mean the chances would have been greater, anyway.
You might have a musical cousin named Flaco...
a knucklehead cousin named Damian Junior...
an artistic but moody cousin named Rogaine...
an athletic and super cute cousin named Honeygirl...
and maybe a little special but "slow" one named Radford."
"If you could go back in time...that's what you'd do? Are
you retarded, you knucklehead of the Filipino persuasion?"
"Yeah, I guess you're right....I'll leave time traveling to my
new favorite show on ABC, "Life On Mars".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOHAbX1zvFM

The Ugly Facts

"Grandpa,
how come
when I act
all mental,
some people
will say I'm
funny...but
other people
will say I'm
mental?"
"Well, my
little Irish-
Book-Pake,
that's cuz
of the Ugly/Pretty rule."
"Grandpa, you freakish mental Filipinucklehead, what is
the Ugly/Pretty rule?"
"Well...it goes like this....
If you're a pretty girl and you act all mental or you say
something mental, people will laugh and say, "She's so funny."
But if you're ugly, then people will say, "What an idiot!" If
you are pretty and you say, "Can I borrow 10 bucks?" then
people will say, "10 bucks? Here....take 20." But if you is ugly,
then people will say, "10 bucks? Get out of here...you ugly!".
If you cut someone off on the road and you're pretty, then
people will wave and say, "No problem sistah...cut in front of
me anytime." But if you is ugly and you cut someone off, then
they will say, "Hey Stupid! You know how fo' drive or what?"
That is the Ugly/Pretty Rule. What you tink about dat?"
"Well Grandpa, I'm worried cuz one girl is laughing at me, and
the other haole girl isn't laughing.....I don't think I like that rule."
"Don't worry my little Namaile, you're pretty."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5kfLG4c_PE

Share a Thumb...Share Aloha

"Grandpa,
I feel kind
of bad cuz
people are
always like
giving me
stuff...but
cuz I'm just
a little kid,
I don't got
nothing to
give back
to them."
"What? You
telling me that you don't got no money in your checking?
You cannot go to the ATM and pull out a twenty? Oh
da junk little girl you."
"Grandpa, all I got is this thumb. You like some?"

Donny Hathaway Applejack

"Grandpa,
my Aunty
Candace let
me borrow
her hat...it's
a little big
but it's aight."
"Yeah, well
that's what
chicks do...
they always
borrow other
people stuff
and den. I'm
gonna tell you
the rules bout
borrowing
other people
clothes k?
1. Ask...no
just take.
2. Clean 'em
when you pau.
No bring 'em
back all hauna
smelling like
hamburgers
and garlic.
3. Let other
people borrow your stuff too. Don't just let 'em borrow your crap.
Let 'em borrow your good stuff....like your Miley Cyrus bvd's.
4. Return 'em right away. No return 'em when it's out of style.
'Hey thanks for returning my Raiders jacket...the one you borrowed
back in '83....thanks for returning 'em now when the Raiders suck.'"
"Wow Grandpa, you must be the smartest Grandpa in the world."
"Nothing can be more true dan dat...and by the way...Aunty Candace's
hat is called an 'applejack' and whenever I see one I think of this guy."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2szdl1o6y9k&feature=related

"Luuuuuuuuuke......I'm Your Faaaaaatheeeeer"

"Grandpa,
do you like
to go in a
hot tub? I
like it cuz
they get
these jets
of water and
it shoots out
and my back
gets a free
massage."
"Well my
little fishy,
your Grandpa don't ever get to go to a hot tub....ever...
in his whole life. But I would take a bath every once in
a while. It's fun when you are under water except for
your nose which sticks out so you can breathe. Then
you can hear your heart beating and your breathing is
kind of loud. That's when I like to say in a low voice,
"Luuuuke.....I'm your father." It sounds really loud and I
sound just like Darth Vader. So if I ever get in a hot tub
...that's a what I'm a gonna do."
"Grandpa, you're a freak."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jdjv5ZwQcdQ

Good Driving Advice From Grandpa

"Look at me
Grandpa,
I'm driving
like you. I'm
driving with
my knees.
Why do you
drive with
your knees
you old and
dilapidated
Ilocano freak
of an ape?"
"Well my
cute little
manapua 'n
pork hash,
driving with
your knees
can be good
when you
need to text
somebody,
or if you
need to put
on some anti-
aging cream,
or if you ever
need to finish
your crossword puzzle. Sometimes you need to drive
with your knees so that your hands are free to massage
your tired knees from all that driving. One time a cop
pulled me over and said, 'Excuse sir, are you driving
with your knees? It seems that you're swerving and
hitting all those lane bumps, so I was just thinking that
you might be driving with your knees.' So I told the cop,
'Well yes, I am driving with my knees, but I need to have
my hands free to peel my orange and make some origami
birds and stuff.' Then the cop is like, 'All right sir, just make
sure you don't hit anybody. You might consider purchasing
one of those velcro attachments that connect your knees to
the steering wheel. Just an idea.' That was a cool cop."

Evelyn Wood School of Mental

"Grandpa,
check it out
...I'm a real
fast reader
and there's
a lot of good
stuff in here.
Like Job is
the greatest
of all Asians,
and one of
those minor
prophets
was a nipper
of pigs and
Jeremiah
25:27 says
that puking
is cool."
"Well little
girl, that's
interesting.
By the way,
how fast are
you reading?"
"Ohh..I think
I can read
somewhere
around 200 pages a minute.
Only one problem....my retention isn't so good."

Pilipino Posing

"Grandpa,
can you
tell me a
few basic
rules about
bookbooks
and taking
pictures?"
"Ok, my
little poser
of questions
....rule #1..
show the
side of your
hand. Can
you see
how this
model is
attempting
to do this?
It would've
been a little
better if she
showed an
outstretched
hand and not
a curled one.
Tip #2...Tilt
your head.
If you tilt
your head,
you give the
illusion of
one earring
being a bit
heavier than
the other
earring.....
this allows
onlookers
to admire
your tilted
head. And
rule # 3....
show off any
skills you may
or may not
have...once
again, see
our model
here is very
flexible.....
she shows
that in her
picture.
There is
another one
....rule # 4....but our model here doesn't use it....it's the pose
where you're standing with one foot pointing at the photographer
and the other food directly behind the front foot but pointing
45 degrees to the side. This gives the illusion of a figure 8......
This pose is a favorite of the 'Over Forty' set. Our model here
is clearly below forty...so that pose would not apply."
"WOW Grandpa....you know so much about photography and
posing....how is that possible?"
"Like I said many times....Barbizon - Class of '74'."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhXXqL3RMqs

You Can Call Me RayRay

"Grandpa,
I keep on
saying, "Um
Hello!....Um
Hello!......."
but nobody
ever says
anything to
me."
"Well little
girl, that's
because
that's not a
phone, that's
a blowdryer."
"Blowdryer?
Ha Ha Ha!!!
Blowdryer
says he... and
I knew that.
Grandpa,
what if I
called you
Grandpapa?"
"Yeah sure
no matter
what you
call me, it's
still gonna
be a blowdryer. My name is Grandpa. ...not Grandpapa....not
Papa...not Lolo....not Ocho Cinco...not Faustino Respicio Jr.
How would you like it if people were to call you stuff like
Maile... or Namally ....or Joleisa....or Maldoogie...or Ming Ming
or Ting Ting? So....don't be calling me Grandpapa... especially
if you're talking to me through a blowdryer."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHeGX0wqazs&feature=related

Perry and Price and Tina You Fat Lard

"Grandpa,
check it
out...I'm at
this crazy
zoo, it's not
the normal
kine zoo.....
you can give
bread to the
stinkin' ox
and llama...
and they got
bears and
other kine
animals and
they like to
eat ham and
stuff...."Hey
Tina, you fat
lard, come get
some dinner!
Tina! Eat!
Food. Eat the
FOOD! Tina!
come get
some ham!"
They got a
tyranosaurus,
and hippos and unicorns and ligers and the Jonas Brothers
and Perry and Price and all kinds of bears...watch out for
those bears...they're scary when they're full of quaaludes."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfDPYeEctAU&feature=related

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!"

"Waaaaaaaahhh!
Grandpa, I'm so
sad cuz your wife
is going shopping
....I heard her
say that there's
a big sale at the
stupid Mall...at
Mervyns and at
Ross's and prolly
at Goodwill too.
Waaaaaaaaaahh!
She's gonna buy
all kinds of crap
and then she's
gonna hold it for
a couple of days
and then she's
gonna say she
doesn't like it any
more and she's
gonna return it...
Waaaaaaaaaaah!
There she goes...
Why does she do
it Grandpa? Why?
'GRANDMA! ! !
Don't do it! Don't
use the credit card
unnecessarily......
You're gonna stab
yourselves all over
with many pains.
And then you're
gonna stab your-
selves all over with
many payments...
Grandma! Don't forget
to buy me a McDonald's Happy Meal!
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
I'm holding a tennis ball and I'm crying
...........Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Mouthful of Canines

"Grandpa,
check out
my mouth
...it's full of
teefusses."
"Yeah I
remember
when you
were bungi
and now....
look at you
...you get
planny.....
I see you
got incisors, canines and molars....you got a full set now."
"Grandpa, did you say I got canines in my mouth?"
"Yeah, I know...that's crazy....canine in a bookbook's mouth."

Sleepy Music for Namaile

"Grandpa,
I'm really
tired now.
I wonder
if we can
listen to
some nice
mellow
music so
I can get
all relaxed
and stuff.
I'm not
really sure
what to listen to. You got any Yanni?"
"Nope...we ain't got no stinkin' Yanni."
"Grandpa, how about some Michael Boobla-Gay?"
"Nope.,..we ain't got no stinkin' Michael Boobla-Gay."
"Grandpa, how about some Conor Oberst?"
"What? You wanna sleep or you wanna die?"
"Ok Grandpa....then...how about some 'Smooth Jazz'?"
"Oh...you mean Smooth Crap? No, we ain't got no Smooth Crap."
"OK Grandpa...how about some Ann Wilson from Heart?"
"Ann Wilson from Heart? Oh I see, you want Ann Wilson
to scare you to sleep."

Cold Cold River Happy Fun Time

"Grandpa,
check it out
...squatting
in the river
...you ever
seen a book
book do dis
before?"
"Ha ha ha
ha ha ha...
Namaile,
you crack
me up."
"Grandpa,
rivers are
fun yeah?
We can go
walking up
and down
this place,
we can go
look at the
fish......hey
where's all
the fish?...
and we can
look at all
rocks and
stuff...oooh
look at the
nice rock...
it's smooth
and it's wet
and it's all
rocky and
stuff....OH
da trills oh
heyah in
da river. If
we take this
rock home,
we can make
fancy kine
paperweight.
Or maybe
Grandma
can use em
for scrub her
okole when
she takes a
shower and
den.....HEY!
What's that
I see in the
water? Oh
wow! IT'S
more ROCKS!!!
This is more fun than Waimea Beach. Now I wonder if somebody
can swing me around in the air? Then I can say, "WHEEEEEEE!"
OH! I can't stand this! Swing me in the air...WHEEEEEEEEEEE!
I'm in this cold, cold, cold river and there's nobody here and we're
looking at rocks and afterwards, we're gonna go get shave ice and
I'm gonna conk myself in the head so I can see stars....WHEEEE!"