Locals In Da Mainland

"Grandpa,
how come
get plenty
locals in the
mainland?"
"Well my
cute little
creamsicle,
one reason
is cuz in the
mainland
you get to
wear all
the sweaters
you get in your closet.
In Hawaii, if you wear a sweater you look like a retard
cuz it's so hot over there. But in the mainland, it's natural
to wear 'em cuz it's so stinking cold and den. And of course
sweaters are cool cuz they flatter you."