"Hey! What About An Altoid Next Time?"

"Grandpa, who
invented kissing?"
"Anthropologists
believe that kissing
began when mothers
would chew their food
and then pass the
chewed up food from
their mouth to their
baby's mouth."
"Do you believe that?"
"No, anthropologists
are usually full of crap.
Actually, about 3,000
years ago the ancient
Bookbooks in Kalihi
saw their 'Switharts'
and told them to come
close and when they
did, the Book pushed
his lips onto her hairdo
and took a big whiff.
Then he said, "Hey,
you smell like lechon"
which used to be a
compliment. In time,
kissing would occur
between everybody
who liked to smell
lechon...including kids,
spouses, and babies
like you. Especially
cute granddaughters
like you. Kissing is
cool cuz it releases
oxytocin which is a
hormone which causes
a good feeling. Actually
you can get that same
good feeling simply by having a couple of cold ones. Or if you
prefer something a little starchier, may I suggest Johnny
Walker Black. Don't forget though, nothing is better than
a good kiss to the head and then follow it with a strong whiff."
"Better than J.Walker Black, my crazy Filipino Man-Monkee?"
"Yah, just barely."