Namaile Learns How to Cross the Road

"OK, my
little pork
chop, Grandpa
going teach
you how to
cross the
street, K?"
"OK, Grandpa."
"K den, first
thing I like you
do is push the
button so the
'Walk' light
comes on."
"K Gramps,
get 'em."


"OK, now I
like you act
like you're checking
out your watch
as if you give a
rip what the time
is. Actually
you don't really
care cuz you're
a bookbook and
you going be
late everywhere...
cuz that's the law."
"OK, gramps, get 'em."






"K den, now I like
you look to the
left and to the
right. You're not
actually looking
for cars. You're
really looking for
all the crazy
Aunty's walking
around with the
wrong kine clothes
so you can yell at
'em, "Hey, Aunty,
what? You no more
mirror in the house?"
"OK Gramps, get 'em."


"K den, now I like
you make da kine
face like, 'Yah,
that's right. I'm
10 months old
and I'm crossing
the street. Why,
Knucklehead?
Boddah you?'
This face is similar
to the face that
says, "I'm sorry
my IQ is double
what yours is.
Maybe you can
pay attention in
school next time...
like Traffic School
and den."
"Ok Gramps, get 'em."


"Ok little girl, almost pau.
Before you cross the street
I like you laugh really
loud and make the big
mouth go open until the
lawai falls out."
"And why is that Grandpa?
Is it because I just heard
you flatulate?"
"Nope"
"Is it cuz I'm thinking
about the chicken that
crossed the road?"
"Nope"
"Is it cuz I'm only 10 months
old and you're already teaching
me how to cross the road but
actually you should be teaching me more important things in life like 'What kine goals in life I should have', stuff like that?"

"Bookbook, please. You're laughing with the big mouth open
cuz Dog, Leland, and Beth just drove by with one of your
uncles in the back seat."