"Grandpa, I'm gonna try and go to sleep now, can you tell me a funnybedtime story so I can fall asleep."
"Okay my little chicken wing....
Once upon a time there was a little girl...she was very pretty and
very funny...and she liked to play music...and she danced all of the
time...one side of her mouth was a little longer and lower than the
other side...but that made her even more pretty cuz nobody else
had that look...her Grandpa was very very handsome and he liked
to play with his pretty little granddaughter. People would be like,
"Hey your granddaughter is super pretty" and he would be like,
"Hey you knucklehead! Of course she is...she's my granddaughter!"
Every once in a while people would say something like, "Hey, when
she gets older, will she be buying a new bag or purse every week
just like her Grandma?" And of course, the answer would be 'NO'
cuz only one mental person per family is allowed. The end."
"Grandpa, that story wasn't very funny and I didn't fall asleep."
"Okay, here's another story, once upon a time there was a little girl
walking in the woods and a big bad wolf came and scared the crap
out of her. The end."
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