3 Rules of Beer

"Grandpa,
do you like
to drink
beer?"
"Do I like
to drink
beer? Does
a chicken
have lips?"
"No, they
don't. They
got beaks.
So then...
I take that
as a 'No'."
"Actually,
my sweet
little rice
candy with
the edible
paper, your
Grandpa will
imbibe once
in a while."
"Just asking
cuz we're at
this brewery
and they got
this ski with
a bunch of
different beer
on top. Isn't
that cool?"
"Yah, well as
a general
rule, I try to
stay away
from the dark
stuff, it looks
like shoyu n
den. It tastes
like it too.
One time I drank some dark stuff and I almost sang karaoke.
You see what can happen? The lighter stuff is sweeter...just
right for a little girl like you. Don't forget to buy some gum
in case a cop pulls you over. And whatever you do...do not mix
your drinks. If you going drink beer...just drink beer. No drink
beer and then later drink ripple or boones farm cuz you gonna
barf. You'll be barking at the ants."
"So let me get this straight... stay away from dark beer, buy gum
in case a cop pulls you over, and no bark at the ants.........got it."
"Here's a nice little beer song for my little munchkin....
Do - the stuff, I use to buy my beer
Re - the guy that sold me beer
Mi - the guy that likes to drink my beer
Fa - a long long way for beer
So - it's time to drink my beer
La - la la la la la beer
Ti - no thanks, I'm drinking beer
That will bring me back to beer..........
A nice little song to sing when you're sleeping on the bathroom floor."