3 Riddles

"Grandpa,
I got some
riddles for
you...you
ready?"
"Give it to
me, what
you say..."
"OK, 1st:
Why don't
turn on
the exhaust
fan when
you use the
bathroom?"
"Oh that's easy. Ok...you know when you have to flatulate
and for some reason you hold it...after awhile it goes away,
right? And now you don't have to let one go...what happened
to it? Where did it go? That's why I don't need no fan....Next?"
"I heard this somewhere....When is long journey not a long journey?"
"Yah, well a long jouney is not a long journey when you look back
after the long journey....Ok...check it out...you're prolly thinking'
'When I grow up, I'm gonna live in Hawaii.' Then you think again,
'Man, that's gonna be forever till I grow up to move to Hawaii.'
That's right, you gotta do some steps first...like you gotta be 2
years old , then you gotta be 3 years old...then I gotta get older,
grow a little taller to reach the gas pedal...then I gotta get smarter
to get cash so I can buy a plane ticket...gotta do all that first. But
next thing you know, you're 20 years old and you're living in
Hawaii with your Grandpa, and you're doing all kinds of stuff and
you got all kinds of headaches and stresses and you're thinking,
'I wish I was small again with my mommy and daddy.' What
happened to the time? Looking backwards, journeys seem short."
"OK...here's my last riddle: What is this fat around my opu?"
"Um...that's not fat...that's muscle."