Pohtagees

"Grandpa, how come in Hawaii they make fun of the Portuguese?"
"Well my little raisin bran, people in Hawaii don't make fun of the
Portuguese.... they make fun of Pohtagees....there's a difference."
"What's the difference?"
"Well the Portuguese are people from Portugal. But the Pohtagees
are people from outer space. There's a gap between the ears that's
filled with a blend of emptiness and cheese. Their medulla oblangata
is disconnected from that blend which means that hilarity can ensue.
For instance, you are obviously not Portuguese cuz your dad is Irish
and your mom is Visayan Ilocano Chinese Hawaiian. But you are
apparently Pohtagee cuz you're facing your boogie board towards
the waves.... most people will face the other way to catch the wave."
"Oh thanks Grandpa, you da smartest."