Don't Eat Anything Bigger Than Your Head

"Grandpa, 

what's one

essential

rule about 

eating?"

"Well, my

little pork

dumpling,

generally, 

you try to

avoid 

eating

anything 

bigger than

your head."

"Grandpa,

what about 

an actual 

head? That

isn't bigger

than a head,

technically,

right? And

Grandpa,

what's the 
biggest thing you ever put in your mouth?"

"Well, I guess it was maybe the time I put a whole

donut from the Bridgeport Donut Shop down in

Tacoma Washington. That's a pretty big donut

and that fit. Another time, I put a whole manapua

in my mouth...I don't think that either one is as

big as the time I put my foot in my mouth."

"Grandpa, how'd you put a whole foot in your mouth?

Is that even possible, you pathetic Visayan freak?"

"Stick around little girl, you got a lot to learn."