Way My Hose At?

"WAAAA!
I'm gonna
be nine
months old
in 6 days,
and I only
got 2 teeth.
What's the
matter
with me?
How am I
gonna eat
apples?
How can
I eat coconuts?
Yo! Way my Hose at? Yo! Way my hose at?"

Namaile the Jedi

"Did you
hear that?
They've
shut down
the reactor,
we'll be
destroyed
for sure.
We're
doomed.
There'll be
no escape
for the
princess
this time.
R2! R2D2,
where are
you? Help
us Obi Wan
Kenobi, you're
our only hope.
Chewie, get
us outta here!
We're losing
our deflector
shield. I'm gonna make the jump to light speed.
Stay on target, Gold Leader.... I can't hold 'em!
Almost there...Yo! Obi Wan! Way my hose at?"

No! Please Don't Do That

What can a
person say
that would
compel my
little cutie
pie to make
this face?
"Oh look!
Sanjaya's
on the TV"
"Come here
and kiss
your Great-
Great-Grand
Aunt"
"The radio's broke, but I got a bunch of
Michael Buble CDs, wanna listen?"
Any of those will do.

Grandma Lisa

Grandma
Lisa's a
Magpiong.
She got a
handful of
my little
Siopao.
I think
when Lisa
was young
she had a
horse. Not
a toy horse,
a real horse.
What's up with that? If Namaile ever goes,
"Hey, Grandpa....buy me a horse" I'm gonna
kick her little butt. Actually, I don't think I
could ever kick her butt. But I think her mom
could. Oh, she could make it fly. To the moon.

The "I'm Thinking, No Boddah Me" Face

She's only 11
minutes old
and she's
already
making the
face. This
is her "I'm
thinking"
face. Here
she's like,
"Are you my
grandpa?
Is that a
camera?"
She makes this face when I give her multiple choice questions...
"Namaile, what's worse? A) Stepping on 30 thumbtacks.
B) Having 2 giant needles jabbed into your eyes
C) Listening to Celine Dion or Michael Buble
At first, she'd make that face for about 10 seconds, then say, "C".
I'd say, "What took you so long?"
She'd be like, "Sorry, just practicing the Face."

Poke? No Thanks

All right
already.
It's been
16 minutes
and they're
still working
on her junk.
What's
going on?
Oh....they
gotta pull
out the
afterbirth.
Some
people eat
that stuff.
How do I
know? Well,
since you
asked....I was
watching
Martha "the
jailbird"
Stewart and
she's mixing
afterbirth with
cinnamon and
dried rose
petals and
chicken broth. But Harry Kojima is like, "Hey,
just cut 'em into cubes. Mix 'em with sesame
oil, sliced onions, seaweed, and green onions,
and hawaiian salt...Poke-style after birth an den."
How ironic....Gumby eating Poke.

"Hey, What's That Long One For?"

Here's my
little Mochi
and she's
only two
minutes
old...she's
like, "Hey,
somebody
get this
booger for
me."
Eventually
they learn
to do it
themselves, usually in a car or an elevator.
It's funny sometimes, you see
an older Filipino man with nice hands.
(Very seldom is he younger, unless he's FOB
or VVPWNS -very,very practical with no shame)
His fingers are all clean and his fingernails are
nice and short....Hey! wait-a-minute....the
fingernail on his pinky is about an inch longer
than the rest of his fingers.....
I wonder why? Hmmmmmm

Bookbook Cowboy Wedding

"We're at a
Bookbook
wedding and
I'm talking
to my
Grandpa
Dan. He's
a brother
of the bride.
He's saying
"I knew
your
Grandpa
when he
was young."
That must
have been
in the 60's.
Oh, here's
the bride
and her
other brother
Esther and
Jerry. My
Grandpa
is posing
with them.
That's rare.
3 Bookbooks
posing. Hey,
what kind of
Bookbook
bride wears
a cowboy hat?
Uh-oh...
Grandpa's
the DJ and
everybody's
line dancing.
That's rare.
Bookbooks
line dancing.
Help! Police! I'm at a Bookbook Cowboy Wedding!"

Is This Really Necessary?

This is from
a wedding
in October.
There's
balloons so
you know
it's gonna
be a fun
wedding.
Sometimes,
my little
Lychee is
getting a
kiss and she
is like, "Why me? Why every 5 minutes?
How about a handshake or how about a hug?"
This is one of those moments.

Another Knee Slapper

Did she tell
you about
the two
sausages?
They were
in a frying
pan and one
said, "Man,
it's getting
hot in here."
The other
one goes,
"Oh cool, a talking sausage."
".........Hello? ..............Is this microphone on?"

Dumb Joke

So this guy
walks into
a bar with
a piece of
concrete
under his
arm. He
says to the
bartender,
"I'll have
me a beer.
And give
me one for
the road."
Nothing to do with the picture, I know.

Wait Til She Learns How to Wink

Check it out!
She can make
the one
eyebrow
thing.
Belushi,
Carrey,
Uncle
Damian
and now
Namaile.
Yah, this
can come
in handy when you need face gestures.
"So, we don't need to give me a ticket,
now do we, Officer?" Then... eyebrow.
Yah, genius.

Another Guilao Girl

So she's
having a
good old
time here
in the
backyard
again.
You can
tell cuz
she's
making
the mouth
noises
that end up
with spit all
over the place.
I try to tell her
that it's not
very attractive.
But does she
listen? No.
I can just imagine
when she's older...
she'll be burping
really loud and
acting all proud
cuz she can make
these loud noises
come out of her
throat. When I
tell her at that
future time how
gross that is,
she'll be like, "Yah, watch this!"
Then she'll let out an even louder one.
How do I know these things? Don't ask.

Random

2 Antennas
met on a
roof, fell
in love and
got married.
The ceremony
wasn't much
but the
reception
was
excellent.
I know...
nothing to
do with this picture.

What 10 Minute Old Babies Think About

"Oh, this
is nice. I'm
finally out
of there.
It's dry
out here.
Where's
all the
fluid at?
This is a
lot better.
How about
some music?
Please, no
Celine Dion,
I was just
born.
And how
about a
drink? Oh
this thumb
will work.
MMMmmm
Hey wait a
minute,
there's
nothing in
this thing.
Waiter! How
about some
thing with
an umbrella
in it? Yah,
Grandpa is
telling me a
KnockKnock
joke.
'KnockKnock
......Who's
there?
Me Ma?
Me Ma who?
Good one Grandpa.
I can tell you went to public school.
What kind of Knucklehead KnockKnock
joke is that? And how about putting the camera
down and making yourself useful. I got some kind
of cheese in my eyes."

She Can Make You Sneeze Too

Check it
out... she
can make
you yawn
just by
looking
at this
picture.
Look at it.
Keep
looking...
It made
you yawn,
didn't it?
Don't lie, you know you yawned.
She gots mad skills, don't she?
Like I been saying............genius.

Sanjaya Phone Home

My little
blueberry
bagel is
always
laughing
and always
happy. Even
if there's a
dumb cat
by her
side, she's
crackin' up.
And why is
she like that?
It's cuz she
just saw a
picture of
Sanjaya's
fake mohawk.
She's thinking
"There's no
way he's
gonna make
it another
week." Well guess what? That
Dingdong made it. And it's crackin' her up.

Hey, Is Your Refrigerator Running?

Grandma Cristina
is carrying my
little Shave Ice.
She's wearing her
Italian leather
jacket and her
curly permed hair.
Namaile is like,
"Hey, put me
down already.
Didn't you used
to steal forks?"
When we used to
go to restaurants,
people always used
to mess with her and
put silverware in her
purse. Then they
would tell the waiter,
"Hey, check out her
purse, she's stealing your forks and stuff."
Ha Ha! Wait till Namaile starts getting older.
She'll be making crank calls to people or
she'll find other ways to mess with them.

Oh Snap!

Great Gramma
Nancy's got a hold
of my little pork
hash. She got
a clip in her hair,
but she
hardly got hair.
That's cool cuz,
eventually the
hair comes. The
clip is her way of
being optimistic.
She's looking at the
glass like it's half
full. "That's right,
I'm wearing a hair
clip. Why? Boddah
you? You think cuz
your baby got more
hair than me, that
means that I'm junk?
Try ask your kid what is the square root of 144.
I doubt that your little knucklehead would know."
Oh, da snappy.

Uncle Jason Malicsi

Uncle Jay
is holding
my chunky
little peanut
butter cup.
He's cool
cuz he's
wearing his
UH hat.
When my
Namaile
gets older,
she's gonna
be wearing her Oakland Raiders hat.
She's also gonna wear her Raiders jersey,
and Raiders headband. Why? Cuz they've
won 3 Super Bowls, and they have a
committment to excellence.
Don't hate.

Aunty Miriam

Aunty
Miriam
is showing
perfect
kissing
technique.
It's an
"Air Kiss".
That way
my baby
don't get
nobody's
germs,
viruses,
fungi, lawai,
or who-knows-what has been on your lips.
It's called an "Air Kiss."
Practice it, learn it, become one with it.

"I Wonder How They Got That Way"

"I'm taking
a picture
with my
Grandpa,
Great
Grandma,
and my mom.
Uh-oh. Uncle
Troy is
sticking his
head in the
picture.
He wants
to get in on
all the fun.
Grandpa
will fix him.
He's gonna
zoom in on
his face.
Ha Ha Ha!
He looks
all wasted.
He got one
eye closing
and he's
all twisted.
Yup....All my uncles are like that. I wonder
how they got that way?"

The Backyardigans

My little
pepeyau
loves "The
Backyard-
igans."
It's her
favorite
show. She
got all
the dolls
from the
show. Their
names are
Pablo,
Uneequa,
Tyrone,
Austin, and
Tasha.
They sing
and dance.
Her favorite
episode is
Castaways.
They pretend
that they're
on a desert
island. And
they sing and
dance the
whole time
they're there.
It's kind of
like "Lost".
Except
nobody dies,
and there's
singing and
dancing.
There's also
no bald guy,
unless you
count Pablo.
Evangeline Lily isn't on "Backyardigans" either.
But if she was, Grandpa would watch it more.

She's a Bookbook

My little
Raisinette
is trippin'
on the fish
again. She
finds it
therapuetic
and relaxing.
She's also
wondering
what
happened
to some of
the fish that
used to be
in there.
"Hey,
Grandpa.
What
happened to
the green
spikey fish
and the
feather
duster?"
"I don't
know, little
girl. I think
the big fish
ate 'em."
Wow, that's
kind of
harsh. But
my little
lumpia is
like, "Well,
too bad we
didn't get
to eat 'em
first."
Yah, she's thinking like a Filipino.

She's Trippin' her Grandma Marcialani

Grandma
Marcialani
is holding
my little
cupcake in
the airport.
She works
there, and
there's
always a
bunch of
businessmen
that try to
come on to her over there. They're like,
"Hey good lookin', what's up?"
Marcialani is like, "I got 2 kids. That's what's up.
Now get on the plane you knucklehead."
Namaile is gonna be like that. When she's older and
guys come on to her, she'll be like, "Get on the plane,
you knucklehead." Ha Ha Ha Ha, she trips me out.

Dude?

Namaile is
practicing
her crying.
She's gonna
audition for
the "Crying
Girl"on
Idol. They
showed her
a lot last
night. I can
see why when
Sanjaya sang,
but then a
million times after that? She was probably crying
in anticipation of what knucklehead remark Randy
would make. "Yo Dog, you feelin' me dude? It wasn't
my favorite, you were a little pitchy dude."
What a knucklehead, he was talking to one of the girls.

Don't Fall on Your Face Little Girl

My little
TootsieRoll
is still
learning
how to
stand. So
she gotta
lean on a
chair or
something.
Kind of like
somebody
in the family
who has a hard time after only 1 glass of wine.
Her face gets all red and she gets all sleepy.
Who are these people? All I can say is her
initials are T.O.I.

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Check out
my little
Manapua.
She can make
the crooked
head and
neck thing.
She can go
on 'Springer'
now and say
stuff like,
"Oh no you
di-int!"
"You don't know me!"
"Don't make me go over there and smack you."
Genius

Lookin' Bugly

Sometimes
even pretty
girls have
'Bugly'
Moments.
Here my
little girl
and her
buddy
Isabella is
making
Bugly faces.
This is the
faces they're gonna make if Sanjaya
makes it another week. "If you hear a wail
in Tacoma Washington, that is where Namaile
is screaming at the TV."

The Fake Bookbook Hawaiian Singer

"Grandpa is
singing and
it's so funny
cuz he lived
in Hawaii
so long and
he doesn't
even know
the right
words. He
just sings
anykine. He
only knows
"Auhea wale
o'e ana kapu
ana..." in the
beginning and "Haina ia mai ana kapuana..."
at the end. Everything else is all made up
fake Hawaiian words. He thinks I don't know
cuz I'm only a baby. Ha Ha! What a bookbook!"

Junk Without Iz

"Oh Cool,
Grandpa
got the
Internet
radio on and
it's on the
Hawaiian
Station.
Uh-Oh...
it's the
Makaha Sons
without Iz...
it's just like
Kalapana
without
Mackey or
Commodores
without
Lionel,
Olomana
without
Beaumont,
Booga-booga
without Rap,
So Junk....
Makes me
sleepy.......
turn off the radio already.....
ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Poor Grandma Tanya

Grandma
Tanya is
holding my
little bran
muffin.
For some
reason,
Grandma
Tanya likes
the Kansas
City Chiefs.
This is even
though my
Oakland
Raiders have kicked their butts for many years.
Namaile can't wait for the NFL season to start as the
JaMarcus Russell era begins.

Namaile Close-Ups

There's no
way to say
it without
sounding
like a
creep but
I think
that this
girl is the
prettiest
girl in the
whole
world.
If you do
close-ups
you could
look for
flaws....
but I don't
see any.
Ok, she
don't got
a lot of hair
like some
other kids
but she
makes it
up by
having an
extremely
high I.Q.
When she
was new,
her eyes
were a bit
lighter, but
now I think
she's settling
into her final
eye color.
Yup, she's
looking pretty good. Must be good genes.

Just Chug It

My little munchkin does
a little bit of Irish folk
dance....kind of like
Riverdance. It's kind of
hard right now cuz she
really can't stand on her
own yet. So somebody
gotta hold her up. Here
she's doing about 2 taps
per second. That's pretty
good for somebody her
age - 8 months. Michael
Flatley can do 28 taps per
second - but he's high on
coke. I heard when he
was 8 months old he could
only do 1 tap per second..
Ha Ha Ha Ha - what a
piece of work he was.
Afterwards she gets all
tired and needs to lean
on a chair and take a
break. She's like,
"Hey Bartender! Get
me a Car Bomb."
An Irish Car Bomb is
a half pint of Guinness,
chilled, and a shot glass
with Jameson's whiskey
and Bailey's Irish Cream.
I didn't even know what
that was until my little
pumpkin pie told me.
"Grandpa, just drop the
shot glass in the mug
and chug it."
Yah, that's my little genius.